I do not know why I'm writing this. I seem to want to collect my thoughts and keep them, for later, perhaps.
My mother passed away last night. I knew this day would come, but it still pains my heart very much. I sit here by a table next to her bed, looking at her peaceful face and I weep. Both for the sorrow of losing her and for the joy of my parents being once again reunited.
I have yet to tell anyone, of course. After I'm done writing I will ride to Wulfric's croft and bring him my sad tidings. He will help with everything. Him and Éoric, his son. They are good people.
I will also tell them of my plans to settle anew, away from Snowbourn. Ever since I came back from my sojourn in far-away Eriador I have lived, stagnated even, at my farm. I miss... something. There must still be something I can do. I do not wish to wither away and die alone, but I also do not need the bustle of the town to further agitate me.
Nay. I will take Sigefaest and only a meager amount of goods and necessities I may need and make for the outskirts of Edoras. During my journeys I came upon something. Something valuable, that I will use to purchase a piece of land from one of the homesteads there. I will give my skills to whatever use they can think of. Damn it all, I just want to be of use and not feel like a man with one foot in the dirt already!
My family farm I will leave to the care of Wulfric and Éoric, if they will agree. Éoric is coming of age and I think it a fine opportunity for him to try his wings in handling it all by himself, with his father nearby to give him a hand if needed.
I do hope they will agree. I'm not sure what will become of the place if they don't. But I know I cannot stay. My family is gone and I feel strangled and suffocating in this house, alone and mourning, and feeling the weight of yet another year gone by.
Fate must have more in store for Gamferth, son of Gamhelm. I need to find out what it is.
I love you, father. I love you, mother. We will see each other soon again.
