How could I not have known? How could I have failed him? I had kept watch from a distance most evenings since he left, but the last few days I had been so tired, I had not called upon Isa.
The sun was low in the western sky as I walked my daily path down to view the main gate of Aldburg. It had become my habit these past several days to stand and look through to the forests and wide lands beyond, to wonder, to wait. I was patient. But this sort of waiting was new to me, and more of a trial than it was for Ethel.
“Trust him, he will be alright. He knows what he is doing,” Ethel had told me two mornings ago. “He always comes back. Sometimes he is a bad way..well…” she had twisted a lock of hair thoughtfully before adding “Sometimes he is really in a bad way.”
She must have noted my expression then, because she made an apologetic grin. “But not this time, eh?”
She had ruffled my hair as if I was the child, and then gone off to visit Roan, and take a ride for a short time. They would race the wind. They would win. “Besides, Yllfa,” she called back to me over her shoulder just before she closed my door. “If he is hurt, you will make him well again.”
And that was that. A fact! Waelden may well be in a bad way, but I would make him well.”
I was reassured.
But this day I stood at the gate for some time, watching a few folk returning to the old capital from their hunting or a journey. A small patrol of a half dozen men rode in. It was a quiet evening; a chilly evening for the time of year. Eventually I turned away, walking slowly back up the hill, mulling again over this new lot of mine...and thinking of ways to make it different.
There was the sound of another rider coming in. I did not turn initially, thinking rather it was yet another returning from a hunt. The sound of hooves clattered on the paving as the horse was turned towards the stables.
I turned.
“Waelden?”
I don’t think he heard me, as I was already near the Mead Hall. I began walking swiftly downhill again, my feet almost tripping on the hem of my shift.
He dismounted and took off his helmet. His thin grey hair was tangled and frayed at the edges as he moved to tie it up the best he could, to keep it from his face. He put the helmet in one of the saddlebags, then gave Ealfin a loving pat as he whispered in the stallion’s ear.
It was enough. I hurried my step down the slope. He still hadn’t seen me, as he sent Ealfin away to the stables, and started trying to dust himself down. Dust, he was covered in dried mud. There were two dark stains on his armour. Blood? His blood?
I ran.
He had started walking, though there was a slight limp at his knee, then he looked up. His face was etched with exhaustion.
“Yllfa!” his expression finally lit up with a weary but honest smile. ”And I know, I look terrible.”
He tried to dust himself off again but I ran the final few yards. There were folk walking up the hill, but I did not care. I took his face in my hands and kissed him on the cheek. He closed his eyes a moment, seeming relieved at my touch, but refrained from embracing me in turn. He glanced down at his dirty attire and the shield still in his hand. Respecting his thoughts, I stepped back apace, though my fingers lingered on his cheek a moment longer.
The wolf had not seen whatever had caused him such exhaustion, such utter fatigue. I chided myself that one thing I would do when he was away in future was find him every night, even if that faring forth exhausted me.
“I have had some grueling days.” he said then “ I just want a large tankard of ale, and to sit down for a moment.”
“Then let us do that. Ethel and I have been staying in the Mead Hall. The folk there will be pleased to see you back as well.”
He nodded. He staggered, favouring his good knee just a little.
“How can I help?”
“You could carry the shield for me. That’d be welcome. My wrist hurts.”
I took the shield from his grasp eagerly. “You cannot know how happy I am to see you safe.”
“And you have no idea how relieved I am to see you again, truly,” he said with a knowing grin, that was perhaps more of a smile. “Don’t worry, I am fine. I am mostly just tired.”
We made progress towards the hall very slowly. I pointed at the dark stains on his armour. “Your blood?”
He shook his head. “We can talk about that later. I just want to rest a bit...and drink that ale. How’s my girl?”
“Ethel is well. She will be so pleased to see you..uninjured. She has been a great help to me. She has been on a hunt, which I am sure she will tell you about in great detail. Though she is likely in her room by now, reading.” I nodded at him.
"All to the good. I will just let her know I am safe." He sighed. "She will have to wait for her hugs as well, I think."
He looked down at his disheveled state again, a rueful look on his face. "Ethel won't wait," he added, realistically.
“And neither will I, for long." I replied with a warm and loving smile. "A rest, a drink or too, and a bath for you I think my dear,”
But plans, even simple ones, are often put aside.
