“Stay like this,” I pant, looking up at him. “Just for a moment, stay like this, so that I may remember it. Stay.”
I blink my tired eyes open. Dawn has not yet broken over the peaks of the mountains that circle Imladris. Yet, as I peer blearily through the window, I can make out the light of the coming sun behind the slopes. Though it is still dark, it is time for me to rise. I have grown accustomed to such an early awakening. I would rise with the sun on the shores of Lake Nenuial, and I see no reason to try to break that habit now, regardless of how late I stayed up the previous night. It is only when I begin to stir do I realize my folly, as a warm embrace tightens around my waist.
Ithilwë, though ever lovely, is not an early riser like myself. He would sleep in ’til noontime or later if allowed, and then stay up into the night and pore over tomes by the light of a candle. It was all I could do to get him to come to bed the previous night (and I was grateful he found himself bored alone in the library without me there, in a vain manner). I do not wish to rouse him from his own sleep, but I am not fain to be parted from rising early. That is a habit I do not wish to break, nor do I wish to see how late I can be tempted to sleep as well.
All hope of slipping away unnoticed are dashed as I try to escape again. This time he stirs, and I hear him murmur my name in his recently awakened haze.
“Amathlan?” He says, and I pause and look back at him. “Where are you going?”
I take a moment to look at him and take in the sight; his silver hair strewn across the pillow, his eyes tempting to close again in sleep, his expression, even, and the way it tempts to turn into a pout.
“Go back to sleep, my love. It is still early,” I reply, but as I turn to leave again, he reaches out and grabs my hand to prevent me from going. He yawns this time before speaking again.
"It is too early,” he points out. “Why are you awake?" I gently rub my thumb along Ithilwe's palm.
"I always wake up at this time. I did not mean to disturb you. Go back to sleep," I murmur, letting go of Ithilwe's hand to gently run it through his hair.
Ithilwe frowns at me, shaking his head as if trying to dismiss the sleep before he says, "Why? Is there business you must attend to so early?" He holds tightly to my hand to keep me from leaving. I can tell that he is cold, too, for he curls in on himself with my absence. I cannot help but laugh softly at his behavior.
"No, but is it a habit for me to wake with the dawn. It is not easy to break. You, however, need to sleep," I encourage, pulling my hand away to make my escape. He lets me go, but his lower lip pokes out into a perfect pout, and I feel a sharp pang of guilt in my chest.
"But I sleep better when you are here,” Ithilwe begs of me, blinking his sleepy eyes. “Will you not come back to bed? Stay with me just a little longer?"
I try to urge him back to bed once more. "Once you go back to sleep, you will not even notice I am gone," I say.
"But I will!” He exclaims to me, and I am taken aback. “I will not be as warm. My arms will know something is missing..." His bottom lip juts out as he deepens his pout, trying to convince me to get back in the bed with him.
I hesitate, glancing between Ithilwe and the window, where I can just make out the start of the cresting sunrise over the mountaintops of the valley. A dull golden glow begins to enter the room. My gaze ultimately lands on Ithilwe, but I am still not quite convinced. "I will not be able to go back to sleep..." I warn him.
Ithilwe grins sleepily, knowing he has likely won the argument. "It does not matter. I might not be able to sleep now either. I just want you close and in my arms. Please?" He gives one final plea, and my heart softens at his earnest determination. I sigh and relent to his pleas, and I return to the bed the way we laid before; my back to him, and his arms around me. He lies much closer than he did before, his face affectionately nuzzling my back, and his grip is much tighter. I cannot help but chuckle softly, as it seems he sincerely did not want me to try and leave again.
Although Ithilwe tries to settle once more, I lay my hand over the one he has wrapped around me. His skin is soft and smooth, unblemished, but my hands bear scars and callouses from years of war and handling blades. All is silent for a time, but I feel Ithilwe stir behind me once more.
He whispers, "What do you do on mornings such as these?"
I smile at the question, as I had just been thinking of it when I woke.
"I would watch the sunrise over the mountains and Lake Nenuial. It is something I find joy in even now,” I answer, though even as I speak, I regret my choice of words. I found more joy in spending such time with Ithilwe. I am relieved when his reply betrays no hint of offense.
"I can not wait to share those moments with you. Though I regret taking that away from you this morning..."
“No, you do not!” I reply in a laugh, and I roll over; Ithilwe moves out of my way to allow me to face him, but he is laughing as well.
“You are right,” he agrees, “I do not. I would stay here with you all day, were it allowed.” He is then silent for a few moments, before releasing a quiet sigh. "I just wish it could happen more. I like being with you like this."
I pause. "When all is quiet, ere the world awakes...? Yes, those are the moments I am fond of as well."
“The world is dark and dangerous now, Ithilwe,” I remind him as the world turns around us; though all others are asleep and the sun is hidden, we remain together, alone, us. “We could do it. We could hold the ceremony later.”
Ithilwe speaks as he strings my hair around his fingers - his gaze does not meet mine. “It is not… proper. We are already so unconventional. What do we risk by acting so quickly?”
It was easy to bicker with and tease Ithilwe in the early morning when he was not yet fully awake. The sun was rising higher, but it was still early, and just as lovers do, we had argued in jest about who treats the other better. Ithilwe had allowed me to win - though my stance was that Ithilwe was the better one. It was true; a simple fact. I was, at my best, only good to him. At his worst, he was still greater to me. He could have had anyone he desired - he was kind, and thoughtful, and patient, and he had chosen me. I would have described it at settling for me, but I know to say it would cause him pain. We had traded rings of betrothal, and to express to him that I felt he could do better would be to betray the commitment he had made to me, so I keep silent that thought.
I hum quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of Ithilwe's head, as he had rested it against my chest amidst our bickering.
"Admitting I am right is the fastest way to my heart," I tease.
Ithilwe smirks at that. "Is it? Is it that easy? In that case, you are always right, my love."
I laugh mirthfully at that, tilting my head to look at him. His eyes are going to ruin me. “What is it you want from me?” I ask in jest.
"I guess you will just have to figure it out,” he replies with a teasing smirk.
“Well, that is hardly fair. I could assume you want to go back to sleep.”
"Come now, you know that is not what I want."
I lower my head to speak softly, to allow my breath to settle against Ithilwe’s ear. "You could just tell me."
Ithilwe whispers, “Why must you tease me so? Just kiss me!"
I grin in my victory and oblige. Perhaps just to tease him more, I slide my hands around him, to move him (though he not resist) and settle him on top of me. He laughs as I do so, though I am just as quick to lean up and kiss him. Immediately are my insecurities quelled; in this moment as our lips meet, and my hands settle at his waist, there is nothing but us. He raises a hand to trace the lines of my face, and I sink further into him.
The sun breaks over the peaks of the mountain and dawn settles its golden glow around us, and the world outside our door breaks into life. Footsteps and voices echo down the hall, and birdsong picks up, and I part from him with the greatest hesitance.
“The sun rises, and the world awakens, my love.”
