Making her way back to her work-site at the trapping company's camp was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. It took her through the field that was still being cleared of orcs and piled up for burning, and past the feasting ravens. At least there wasn't that much sign left of what her traps themselves had wrought, even though the plan worked well, and it had only been the enemy that got hurt.
That, however surreal, had become her new reality. Not even her awkwardness at having to beg help from Scarlet Jay for clearing the remaining traps earlier changed that. Or, perhaps, it helped keep it surreal, and thus part of how her life had changed. Even Tree-Walker had suddenly seemed almost eldritch to her as they set up for the battle. Yet, if she really could communicate to Fang that way, just thinking at him, that would explain some things.
And now, as she got past that field of carnage, and back into the woods she knew, and to the camp, things were all too… normal. She'd expected that to be a comfort, but it wasn't. She felt wrong, out of place somehow. Her world had changed, or she had, and she didn't fit this normal place any more. And yet, neither was she really one of the Woodmen. She was neither fish nor fowl, and didn't feel like she belonged anywhere just now.
Shaking her head at her own wool-gathering, she greeted Bered and Orred as she set about recovering what she could from the spent traps, and making more normal ones for their work. They were discussing something about trips in the past, before they'd settled down. She overheard something about the mountains and a blizzard, but the story got interrupted by Orred's hailing of Marnewyn as she approached the camp.
"Miss Marney!" Orred waved to her, and then indicated the other man next to him. "Bered here might know your girl. Or used to."
The older woman pulled up short, peering at the men. "Or used to?" She drew out the question, letting her Dalish accent show, which got a nod from the more sandy-haired Bered.
"Yes ma'am. About ten – no, eleven years ago now." He sighed, running his fingers through the thick mop he had so much trouble keeping properly combed. "I suppose, from what Orred told me, and that reminded me, it's probably not the best way to introduce myself, but he got excited."
The younger man had the grace to look a bit abashed, and kept quiet.
"I think I remember that name in her own tale. Early blizzard in the High Pass from Dale, headed roughly here, yes?" At this nod, she sighed. "Well, then, it's more like it's a poor way to be introducing me, I think. She had nothing bad to say regarding any of you. Though, depending on just what all you saw or heard after, it may have been a surprise to you to learn that she'd lived."
Bered rubbed his face as she spoke, and nodded to her words. "Fair enough, and true enough." He looked aside to Orred. "Though his account did say you're friends with her now, at least."
She nodded. "Aye. Better than I'd any right to hope for, even once I found out she hadn't drowned. Which… well, I was glad enough of that, for all it was also rather a shock. But to have her willing to start over as friends was an unexpected blessing."
The older trapper nodded with a soft huff that was almost a chuckle. "No doubt. Well, I don't want to keep on at you about a topic that's not easy. But if you could let her know that Dellred, Evan, and I are working here now, and still think we owe her… well, I'm not sure how she'd take that part, but it's true. And letting her know we're here and remember her kindly would be a favour, ma'am."
Marnewyn relaxed, finally, having found the conversation tense until this point, though Jess hadn't noticed until now. "Let me write those names down, then. She's been down in Rohan, and if I find someone riding that way before she returns, I'll be sending her another letter." She took down the names, and finally managed to move on to speak to Jess while the men went out to check on their trap lines.
"That didn't seem, mmm, all that pleasant. I'm sorry, Marney."
The older woman waved off the apology. "I was just nervous about how it could have gone. That was fine. And not your doing, anyway." She looked at Jess more closely. "How are you doing? I'm guessing that was your first serious battle, considering I saw you losing your lunch off to the side there, while I was still in the tower."
Jess flushed deeply, and nodded slowly. "I'd… I'd hoped nobody'd see. But yes. I'd had a couple of run-ins with bandits before, with the constables, but it… it wasn't anything like that."
That got an answering nod. "I'm told the tension does that. Gets you too tied up in the stomach to keep things down. It didn't hit me that way, which considering where I was is good, but that's probably because I was so frustrated at not getting clear shots. It's not like it was for you, running back and forth and being up in their faces like that."
Jess flushed some again, but then managed to smile. "Thank you. I think."
Marney laughed. "Not very good with saying 'good job', am I? But it's what I meant. You did fine. Though you still haven't answered me. How are you doing? You look… lost."
The trap-maker sighed, then nodded. "I am. It's… I don't feel like I belong… anywhere. This…" she waved her hand at the camp, "this is what I know how to do, but it doesn't seem real any more, in some ways. But I don't really belong with them, either." She pointed with her head off to the Woodmen's stockade, not that it was in view.
"Mmhm. You've changed, but your world really hasn't. Except that you see it all differently now." She shrugged. "I can't much help with that, I'm afraid – except to tell you that it's a thing you get used to. It'll be better. Eventually."
Jess sighed, then smiled weakly. "I suppose that's some small comfort. Thank you. I'm… should I ask how you know?"
That got a short laugh and a shaking head. "Best not. I've already had to admit enough things that make me look bad. And, while my circumstances in the world have changed often over the years, it was my first time to stand and fight as well. For what that's worth. But those earlier times… give me some perspective, even so." She sighed, and tilted her head. "But how are the others?"
The younger woman nodded to the statements, then sighed at the question. "Miss Leohna and the other healers did a great job of not letting anyone else die. I haven't seen Tree-Walker after, but Ljota's been out getting her willow-bark and food. Scarlet Jay said they're handling their own recovery that way, and they'll be fine."
Marnewyn nodded and smiled weakly. "So, it's the three and the one, and a lot of injured resting up. That's… considering how many foes we faced, it's good. For all we'd all like not to have lost anyone." She sighed and shook her head again. "Well, I suppose I'll be able to visit again soon, now that they at least know me as an archer in that sprawling camp. I… really didn't like the looks I was getting."
A heavy sigh and then a slow nod. "I didn't always get the best looks, either, so I understand. I wish… I wish I felt more like I belong there. Leohna will probably be joining the clan. But I don't think I can quite do that. It's…." She trailed off, at a loss for how to explain it.
"You have family here. For all you don't entirely feel you fit with them, either, you have your ties." She smiled at the younger woman's surprise. "I talked to your aunt on the way over. Nothing bad. She was just wanting to be sure you were in one piece. I was able to reassure her."
Jess flushed again. "Oh. Well, thank you. I suppose I'd best go see her later. And thank her for the training."
Marney smiled and patted her shoulder. "There you go. And belike I'll see you at the lodge again soon, or here again. But I need to go see to my horse, and you have work to get back to. Take care of yourself, Jess."
"Thank you, Marney. And you, too!"
