Found:
I went to Bree again. It is becoming a regular thing, much to my disgust and yet... I find myself there. It is brown and boring, but it is outside and not within the confines of my own house. More than that, it offers the chance for company; a thing I sorely need right now.
I didn't see any of the usual faces, at first. Instead, I made a new acquaintance.
A man named Amaken came to join me on the bench. It wasn't long before we moved inside the tavern for warmth, though true to my new routine, I drank naught but water. It was odd, speaking to him. 'tis not that he was odd, at least not by my standards, though I suppose he might be deemed such by the more conservative locals. Rather, what I found strange was the way in which we agreed on almost everything. He has a very similar outlook to me when it comes to adventure and regrets. He did insist on calling me "M'lady," however, which certainly counts against him! Regardless, it may be pleasant to speak to the man again in the coming days.
Goodness knows I need the distraction!
Shortly after Amaken departed, Rahvic came in. It's always... interesting to see him. There's a curious mixture of comfort and annoyance in it. The man has a loud mouth, and is not shy when it comes to playful shoving, but there is a warmth there that I lacked growing up. He is more a sibling to me than any of the others were. I was glad to see him, as I so often am. Moreso today, I think, simply because of how alone I have been feeling of late. It's good to be reminded that there is someone...
He gave me a gift. A beautiful silver necklace with a snake pendant. It has little emeralds for eyes. He didn't need to do this, of course. He needn't have spent a copper at all! But he wished to apologise for having left without a word all those months ago. I pointed out, naturally, that it is simply what we do and that I was more annoyed by him not coming to find me once he had returned! He was scared though. Scared that I would reject him for being so thoughtless.
I wouldn't, of course. My blood family means nothing to me - with the exception of my niece - but this tiny little one that I have created for myself? That means everything.
I am grateful for the trinket. It is an exquisite piece. I am still, however, very unused to receiving gifts. I have never had them as a child. I never stayed around long enough to receive them as a young adult. I haven't forgotten the ones from Woad or Rowan, of course, though each had a reason. I've never simply been given a gift as a way to be treated or as a sign of affection.
I suppose I still haven't!
It seems that he is suffering from nightmares of the past as well. I admitted to my own and suggested to him that which I have been doing. It hasn't worked well for me, true, but I wonder if my current state of distress is simply making it more difficult for me to overcome. In any case, the one piece I have been skipping over is talking about them. I still don't want to, but sooner or later I suppose that I must. As must he.
Dernwynn joined us a little later. I must admit, the panic in Rahvic's eyes when I jested that her unborn babe might be his was utterly priceless! I love the man, but sometimes he is as thick as a brick. He was, after all, gone from these lands for far longer than Dernwynn has been pregnant!
She has invited him to the wedding, naturally. As I doubt that Rowan will be back by then, it is likely that he shall accompany me, as unorthodox as that may be. Ruemax seemed perfectly content with the idea, though the two men only met this eve.
The wedding will be a welcome celebration during these dour days.
