Inside the Mathom-House in Michel Delving
The sight that met me there was underwhelming
What I saw
Made me “haw”
A shelf of dusty worn-out trinkets
Maltreated by a gang of shifty delinquents
I said, “No”
“This simply will not do at all”, I said
“I want to care for the hobbit mathoms
“I want to study the hobbit mathoms too
“Want to save the hobbit mathoms
“I want to save the hobbit mathoms from you”
And what else could I do?
I said that, “You old lot is through”
Then someone brought the Keeper over
A snooty lad with a scent of clover
He just stared
His old nostrils … flared
He said, “My name is Brombard Foxtail”
“I oversee this house with careful detail”
So I laughed
Because the lad seemed smug and daft
And I said
“I want to care for the hobbit mathoms
“I want to study the hobbit mathoms too
“Want to save the hobbit mathoms
“I want to save the hobbit mathoms from you
“And those mathoms on the shelf
“I’m gonna care for them myself”
But the lad let out a yelp
It seemed he didn’t want my help
He tried to throw me out the door
He yelled that he’d give me what for
So I ran past him down the stair
I dodged a turtle sleeping there
Grabbed a club from its display
Waved it high and wild, told the Keeper to stay away
“I want to care for the hobbit mathoms
“I want to study the hobbit mathoms too
“Want to save the hobbit mathoms
“I want to save the hobbit mathoms from you
“And before the night is through
“I’ll take them far away from you”
“I will save all the hobbit mathoms
“I will save them from Brombard Foxtail today
“I will save all the hobbit mathoms
“I will take them from Michel Delving today
“Keep them safely stored away
“For care the proper hobbit way”
Like a shrew munching on a spider
Foxtail squealed as his eyes grew wider
“Do not, that club is worth a lot
“Belonging to our ancient hero
“The Greenfields, battling goblins all day
“Keep it safe, keep it well, keep it up on display”
But behind me on the floor
There were twenty cudgels more
And they looked about the same
All of ancient hero fame
I laughed aloud and shook my head
All the clubs were fakes, but Foxtail didn’t understand
But then the lad let out a yelp
It seemed he didn’t want my help
He tried to throw me out the door
He yelled he’d give me what for
I ran past him up the stair
I dodged the turtle sleeping there
Laughing loudly when Foxtail fell
He tripped on the turtle, he went down with a yell, I said
“I will save all the hobbit mathoms
“I will save them from Brombard Foxtail today
“I will save all the hobbit mathoms
“I will look for them… all over today
“Keep them safely stored away
“For care the proper hobbit way”
