I went out to find some peace and I did, for a short while. Then, I heard miss Rushwood. She was upset and I decided to offer my time to her. By the end, she at least appeared happier, so I can only assume that my attempts to comfort her helped.
Aeruthuil continues to be good company and I've found certain comfort around him. I don't find the need to be careful with my words and can express my thoughts without insult taken. Rare to find people like that.
I've spoken to him of things I shouldn't be sharing, but he's given me some things to think about. Has suggested that I visit the town more often, offer some advice to those that need it. I'm still not sure on that, but I'll not dismiss it fully.
The idea of heading up to Trestlebridge has also come to mind after speaking with him. To take supplies and offer some assistance to those that might need it. I've not been there before and the stories I've heard are different, but usually focus on the trouble they have. It's another thing I've noted down to think about later. Aeruthuil has offered to escort me there once I decide. For now I still have a trip to take with Fiontann and Remdir. I won't plan another trip until that one is over.
I find myself wanting to step away from the infirmary more each day, I'm not sure why. It has started to feel like a chain around my neck, I can never be too far from it. His words continue to go through my mind and I've begun to question my purpose. Was I meant for something else, but stuck here because of my father's wishes? Or was this the path I was always meant to take? Questions I'm unable to find answers to.
I continue to think of what she said to me as well, about love. I don't now why, I suppose given recent events it's only natural that such a thought would surface. It may not be impossible for me, I do believe there's one that I could grow such care for. At least the fondness for her still lingers.
Feels like I need a long walk to try and unclog my mind, return to my work and continue to learn more of the Men of Old from Aeruthuil while I still have him around. If it's true that some of them still walk among us, there may still be hope to gain some of their blood to study, to progress.
