Once again, I have not written in far too long. Why should I care? It is not as if someone would read this, right? Perhaps there is a part of me that wishes to show my future children what my life was. Ha. I say this as if I know I will have children. Or a husband. There have been those I have cared about. But they never stay for long.
Etheron disappeared. I was beginning to care deeply for him, so perhaps it is for the best that he is no longer here. Kristopher also seems to have gone missing. I...hope it was not I that drove him from Bree. Though it is possible, unfortunately. I am sure he would not wish to be drugged and captured again. Nor would he wish for me to mention his past, and I have made it clear I am not trustworthy. I wish I had trusted him. And allowed myself to be worthy of his trust…but I cannot dwell on this. Where was I going with this? Oh yes.
I have found a friend in whom I can trust, and for some odd reason, he appears to trust me. Perhaps his loss of memory makes him more trusting? Who knows. He calls himself Stitches. He believes himself to be less than human, but he is more of a man than many I have met. Someone appears to have tattooed a stitched smile over his mouth and cheeks, which is much of why he thinks that way of himself. But I cannot recall a time where I have had such a good friend as I do in him. He took me to his special area, on a hill, and showed me a face in the stars. A lovely lady, she was, nameless, but no less beautiful. He said I looked like her...though that, I doubt.
I don’t think it was such a great idea, but I kissed his cheek after he walked me “home” last night. I hope he doesn’t get the wrong feelings from it. I am not in love with him. I believe it would be a poor thing of me to fall in love with anyone just now. Not that I have not gotten close to it, in recent years. But I will not allow myself to bring such pain onto Stitches. Perhaps one day, if I am free, I might love him, but I do not feel in such a manner toward him. I don’t think I’ve even begun to. Even if I did, he has no memory. What if he was truly married, somewhere else? He may have children that adore and miss him, somewhere. Why does my mind wander to children so often?
Teregan. I miss my son. I hope Ynna and him are safe. Though it pains me to say this, I hope they find his TRUE parents. I miss him. I love him. But I know where this goes, when I love someone.
I’ve become less paranoid than before. I spoke with an old acquaintance of mine from Gondor, but he doesn’t recognize me. Not exactly. He…knows of me. His name is Davamir, and I remember meeting him when we were younger. It was some silly “nobles’ “ ball, and we were but children. He has lost none of his arrogance and charm, but I no longer find nobles attractive. Quite the opposite. Their haughty attitudes and idiocy are repulsive. But underneath his bravado, I sense he could be a decent man. Could be.
I feel as though something is about to happen. I cannot describe it, but I don’t feel safe. I FEEL something is going to happen to me, and soon. In the past, I have allowed that to make me more paranoid, but that has never stopped what was to come, and only made things worse. Perhaps doing everything as I do normally would will make it not happen? I do not believe I can change it, but I will not let it change me. ~Dru
