III.
Finn was sitting opposite to Ford and staring at him in disbelief.
"You. Are. An. Idiot." He said, expression utterly livid with anger, hands thrown up in apparent dismay, "Really? You didn' ever stop to think, for one bloody second, about what Pa would think? Ma? You realize they've been worryin' about you and missin' you for a year? Really, Ford?"
Ford sighed. He always felt helpless and small in the face of Finn's lecturing and ranting, even if it was well-deserved, "I know, I know, but I jus' needed t'get away before it got worse. You know Hudd and Ellie wouldn' have let me leave."
They were sitting in front of the hearth, talking about Ford's flight from Combe. Hilda had opted to go and look for their parents after their talk, likely so that she could mull over the things Ford had told her, thus leaving Ford and Finn to have the long-awaited discussion over what had transpired over the course of a year. He had told Finn everything - how he had first arrived in Bree, why he had left in the first place, and how he was faring now. His brother's face grew angrier and more disbelieving as the tale came to a close.
"Or you were jus' afraid of facin' them." Finn retorted. His answer was a barbed one, and it stung Ford to hear it, but he was going to let Finn chew him out and relieve the stress he had built up listening to Ford explain. Like Tylva, his older brother did not mince his words, and often tended to call people out when he disapproved of something they were saying or doing. As a virtue, his bluntness meant that he did not spend time dancing around an issue too long and went straight to the point, but as a flaw, it had also landed him in hot water with people who did not take too kindly to harsh and candid words.
"Really, Ford. Nothing had happened up to that point, you were bein' too bleedin' paranoid for your own good." Finn rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Bloody hell, the fact that you'd left made it even more obvious then that something was going on at the Red Anvil. You're lucky everyone moved on from that when the noise died down and found somethin' new to talk about."
"I'm sorry." Ford apologized quietly, eyes trailing downwards to his dusted boots, "I kno' the excuses I gave were stupid, bu' it seemed like the best option at the time an' I needed t'get out before we go' in too deep. Do you honestly think we could've stayed like that forever without anyone noseyin' in, Finn? That's no' how it works."
Finn groaned and slumped into his seat, rubbing his face with his hands, "No. Definitely no', but you could've asked me or Hilda for help before running off to Bree! We could've gone up together, talked to Hudd and--"
"No." He said firmly, shaking his head, "No, that would've made things worse. Look, it was a cruel thing to do, but it was for the best. Didn' you say it yourself once? 'Sometimes sayin' goodbye has to be like pulling off a leech - quick an' harsh'."
"I was sixteen, you twat." Finn snapped, sitting upright again, "And the lass I was talking about wouldn' let go."
"Ellie and Hudd didn't either." Ford countered, staring at Finn with a frown, "Believe me, I've brought it up a lo' of times but they didn' see it the way I did. They though' that it would all work out and no one would suspect a thing. An' lets be honest here, you already knew before that I was in love with Hudd, you knew something was goin' to happen eventually that would make me leave."
He trailed off and fell silent. Could he have gotten Ellie and Hudd to see it his way back then? He mused on the idea and found himself disagreeing. They had been so convinced, utterly convinced, that everything would work out for the best and that they could stay as a family of three for the rest of their lives, but Ford had always known in his heart that he would eventually have to step out of the picture, and confessing his love to Hudd had been the fatal mistake made in the spur of the moment; One that he would come to regret as the days dragged on, and the one mistake that had sealed his fate.
Still, Finn had a point in that he should have been honest to Hilda and him. He pursed his lips and thought on about how he had hurt his mother and father, and his siblings, with his hasty retreat. He probably couldn't tell Mum and Dad the real circumstances behind his departure, but he was going to walk up to them both when he saw them, give them both a hug, and apologize for his lengthy absence.
Finn stood up, a cold scowl on his features. "I still can't believe you didn' even trust us enough, your own brother and sister, to say something." He said icily, "I'm goin' to go take a walk. Some bloody evening this turned out to be..."
Ford put his head in his hands and listened to the sound of Finn stomping angrily out of the house and slamming the door behind him. Finn was not easy to anger, and he knew he had likely damaged his relationship with his brother through the argument, but he wasn't about to go chase after Finn and make things even worse. He had the moral high ground in this case, so all Ford could do was sulk in his chair.
"He'll come around, but he's right, you know. You're an idiot."
Ford raised his head and hastily wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, "Hilda?"
"Aye. It's me." Hilda stood at closed door, arms folded, "Had a fight?"
"How long have you been listening, and where's mum and dad?" He asked warily. Hilda strode over to a small cupboard next to the dinner table and pulled out a weathered green book whose text he could not read.
"Long enough, and mum and dad are stayin' late. I dun' blame you, Ford, but really, some trust would've been nice." Hilda said quietly, walking over to put a hand on Ford's shoulder, "You blindsided me with your little confession earlier."
"I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."
Hilda shrugged, the tone of her voice somewhat tired, "Eh. No' like you can change much anymore." She held the book out to him, and Ford could see the title The Adventures of Herebald Took emblazoned on the cover in faded writing, "Will you read me a story?"
Ford raised his brow, "You can read, Hilda."
"I know, but it sounds better when you're the one doing the reading. Remember when we were young, when all the children sat in a circle to listen to you?"
A ghost of a smile flickered on his lips, "Aye, I do."
"Go on, then. If you're here to visit, you could at least do some storytellin' for old times' sakes. I'd hate it if everyone jus' spent the length of your stay arguin' an' bickering amongst yourselves, but next time something's wrong, Ford, bloody tell us. We want to help."
Ford took the book and flipped a page as Hilda settled her head comfortably on Ford's shoulder, eyeing the text on the parchment with a tired look. He carefully reached out to ruffle her hair affectionately, but his heart sank when all Hilda did was close her eyes, turn her head away, and sigh, so he flipped another page, cleared his throat, and slowly began to read.
