What has been done cannot be undone

There he stood, dead silent; pale as a snow-covered mountain in middle of the winter, below it a frozen lake with ice like a mirror. So was the tomb he was staring at; silent, made of white granite with a surface so polished he could see his mirror image. Close to the upper edge there were four runes carved:

One droplet fell down on each side of Gungur’s face, one being sweat of agony, the other being a tear of great grief and sorrow. »… So, it is true then, « was all he could say. Unfortunately, it was true. Having heard of it from one of the dwarves upon his return, after being kept so long away from home - he could not believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. Surely it couldn’t be true.

 

»M-Master Gungur? Shall I… shall I leave you two alone? « the tomb-caretaker standing behind Gungur asked carefully. He was replied with a simple nod. Echoing footsteps retreated towards the other chambers, while Gungur remained behind in all silence. He kept staring at the runes as the image of them was burned into his mind. He pressed a hand against the tomb and closed his eyes for a while. Even with his eyes closed he could see the runes. No matter how many times he blinked the image would not disappear. »It… is true, then, « his quiet words would still echo around the chamber. He was even startled by the echo, making him peer around the vast hall with other tombs in several rows, and a few braziers in the distance. As he turned to look back at the tomb, there she was!

 

»D-Dáni! ‘Tis you, my love! You’re alive, so the news were not true at all?« Gungur asked, his voice with a mixture of confusion, joy and panic. Before he received an answer, the image of his late wife was gone. The granite tomb was still there. That was the answer to his question, well enough.  With his mouth left open, unable to find any words or they were stuck in his throat, his head sank down, and slowly he collapsed to his knees as his legs were trembling too much. He cupped his hands against his face, letting out a muted scream just as his tears started falling, each of them making a quiet echo as they hit the marble floor. When he eventually lifted his gaze, his eyes weren’t their usual emerald-green coloured, rather as pale as the granite before him…

 

Gungur closed the front door to his house behind him as slowly as possible. All his movements seemed as if they were slowed down, each step seeming like an eternity. As the door thumped against the doorframe, footsteps began hurrying from the neighbouring room. Quickly, in front of him stood a young Dwarf-maiden, dressed in black instead of her usual, more colourful attire, a worrying look on her face rather than her usual smile.

 

»Father, You’ve returned! F-father…?« her enthusiasm was replaced by confusion, as she stared at her own father, even though somehow he seemed a completely different Dwarf.

»…Hm?« he lifted his gaze as if he hadn’t seen her at first, »Oh, ‘tis you, my daughter. It is done. Now I believe all the news I’ve heard..,« was all he managed to say, before slowly moving towards the living room, his daughter following a few steps behind him.

 

In the living room they were waited by another Dwarf, young as well, still, much broader in shoulders than Gungur’s daughter, Braggir.

»Father! You’re back! Father, I… I can see You’ve seen her. Seen our mother, yes?«  the dwarf-lad asked, as he was also surprised to see his father in such a state, although he could tell straight away why.

 

Gungur hummed to himself, not even looking at his son, Nalmar.  His children kept looking at him as he moved to a nearby chair, his steps so small it seemed more like he was floating - like a ghost. This worried his children, Braggir especially.

 

»Father, I… I’m sorry for Your loss, Father. We've all lost someone dear. S-surely you know we are in this with You, as a family - together… Father? Shall I make you a cup of tea, or something--«

 

»I saw her back there. She seemed alive and smiling. Then… she was suddenly gone. I-I..,« Gungur mumbled to himself, not paying attention to his daughter speaking, »…Mm? You were saying something, daughter?« he eventually raised his gaze up at the two.

 

Nalmar kept looking between the two, shaking his head slightly. »Best you get Father some brandy, sister,« he simply stated, examining his father’s current appearance.

»A whole bottle, if you don’t mind,« Gungur quickly managed to add, much to their surprise. Braggir did as told, fetching her father a large bottle of Dale-brandy, stronger than what it at first appeared to be. As she was uncorking the bottle, ready to pour some in a small metal cup, Gungur leaned over and robbed the whole bottle, downing its contents in one, two gulps, followed by a long sigh of some kind or relief.

 

»Father, I… We are both worried about You. Please, I know it is extremely painful to You, but if there’s anything You’d like to speak about to us, that is why we are here. We are Your children after all, Father,« Nalmar eventually spoke out, not sure what to expect his father to answer.

Gungur looked up at his children with an empty stare, mumbling incoherently to himself, before standing up and heading out to their balcony upstairs, his children following behind. Once there, he peered into the distance, his hands clasped behind his back. His children turned to look at each other, not sure what was going on, or what they should do. Eventually Braggir dared to approach her silent father.

 

»F-father, … Please, don’t be like this. Seeing You in such a state makes me worry even more. It pains me, even. Please, Father, say something, come back inside, I--« Braggir spoke carefully, before being interrupted.

»Why didn’t you do anything back then?« Gungur asked all of a sudden.

»I… I don’t understand, Father. Do what?« she asked in genuine confusion, taking a few steps back.

»Why did you not take better care of her, daughter? Should you have tended her better, your Mother would still be here amongst us,« Gungur said coldly. Braggir blinked, her gaze falling towards the floor.

»I…I’m sorry, Father, I…« 

Her brother quickly rushed for her assistance.

»I thought You would know already, Father; there was nothing more we could’ve done! Mother’s illness was far beyond the skills of even the experienced healers Under the Mountain! Do not blame Braggir of her death! It was no one’s fault, You should know that as well, Father!« he spoke harshly, his sister simply standing next to him at a loss for words.

Gungur turned around suddenly, his whole appearance suddenly changed from the sleepy figure to a fierce - almost a mad - being.

 

»Blame no one?! Who asked her to travel to Dale to buy something special as a birthday present, only to have her company surprised by a goblin-pack, and get struck by a poisoned arrow? Who, indeed?!« their father bellowed, a strange fire in his eyes all of a sudden.

Braggir sniffled quietly, slowly approaching her father.

»Father, I… I honestly didn’t want things turn out this way. None of us wanted. Believe me, Father, it was a silly idea, I admit, to travel to Dale and visit a local toymaker. I did not know of her plans exactly, honestly. It was supposed to be a sweet surprise,« she spoke quietly, her eyes watering more each passing moment under her Father’s gaze. Gungur’s eyes flashed.

»You, was it? I see…Hmph,  I knew I should’ve been content with only one child, it seems,« he spoke out all of a sudden. Braggir tried to say something as an apology, but couldn’t get the words out of her mouth. Instead, his harsh words pained her so deep she began crying, cupping her hands over her face as she turned away.

»Father! Do not speak such words! Surely You don’t mean that in all sincerity? I… I’m ashamed to be Your son after hearing such words ,« Nalmar spoke, hesitating with the last few words, staring at his father in anger.

Gungur stared back at him, his oddly granite-pale eyes burning with a strange fire.

»Well then… that can be solved easily. Do not be my son, in that case,« he spoke in a calm, yet cold tone, »I do not have a son anymore.«

 

Braggir watched in horror at their exchange of words, watching as her brother clenched his fist and closed his eyes, fighting back the painful words. There was nothing she could do as Nalmar rushed away, collecting what he could find from his room on his way downstairs in that moment of haste, before standing outside the door and he looked behind him once more.

»B-brother, please! You can’t leave us! Let us calm down and talk this over later, I beg you!« Braggir pleaded between her crying as she ran for the door.

»Please forgive me, sister, but I cannot stay under the same roof with a Dwarf who denies his own son before him. Mahâl ensure you beauty and fortune, my sister. Farewell!« Nalmar spoke for the last time, before closing the door behind him with a creak and heading out towards the outer gates. He would never again see his family.

 

Braggir cried as she collapsed against the door, overwhelmed by sorrow. Little did she know, Gungur had slowly walked downstairs and stood right behind her, for a good while too, silent and threatening. All of a sudden she felt someone pull her up by her arm, before standing face to face with her father.

 

»Spare your tears, daughter. He was none in particular to worry about. Tidy yourself and be off to your room,« he spoke harshly as if nothing had happened moments before.

Now Braggir finally spoke out what was on her mind as she shook herself off his grip.

»Silence! I-I will not be spoken to like a household item, or forget all this just like that! He’s Your son, for Durin’s sake! What has gone into You, Father?! Denying Your own child? This, this… madness in You! You are not the same Dwarf I was raised by. Nor the dwarf my Mother married so many years ago. Seeing you like this, I’m certain she would turn in her grave--«

 

*SMACK*

 

In a blink of an eye, a hand flashed across her face, the impact knocking her on the floor. Her mind was at a loss, mixed up by the pain from the slap, shock of her father’s sudden action - and horror, as she looked up at him. She did not see her father anymore, but a madman; Gungur’s eyes wide open, exhaling heavily through his nose. Still, without saying a word. Braggir couldn’t do but cry, pressing her reddening cheek as she lowered her head, awaiting her fate.

Gungur stared down at his crying daughter, slowly looking at his hand which he still held in the air before him, ready to smack again after what she had said. He was so full of anger at that moment. Anger enough to kill.

 

At that moment, however, as if someone or something had gone through him like a gust of wind, all the anger was gone. He looked around again, this time in great confusion.

»What? How? I’m in my house? Last I remember I was in the tomb-chamber..,« Gungur thought to himself.

He looked down before him, spotting his daughter crying while lying on her knees for some strange reason, then looking at his hand and its somewhat reddish palm.  At that very instant, he realized his actions, causing him to retreat a few steps back. As he lowered his hand, he knew he had already gone too far, having done things beyond repairing. His son was nowhere to be seen, his daughter silently weeping before him. Tears began rolling down his cheeks. Still, he wasn’t able to say a thing.  He rushed within his sleeping quarters, leaving Braggir sniffle in the hallway. He closed the bedroom door behind him with a loud bang and locked the door.

 

He leaned against the foot end of his bed, breathing heavily as he tried to go through in his head all what he had said and done, but couldn’t remember. He fell on his knees and pressed his head against the bed, muffling his crying. As he lifted his gaze to look up at the portrait hanging on the wall above his bed - of him and his wife with both their children together - his eyes were back to their usual emerald-green colour again. Yet, he knew there was no going back.