There are those that proclaim "I do not fear death." But death comes in many forms. Either by the shear force of an arrow; the slash of a blade cutting down an opponent. Or the death of one's heart, everything that you once were. Dead. All because of life and the cruel hand of fate, I myself have no joy in this moment. But I know that if I, Gwaedhiell of Gondor. Were to give up on my very existence that my journey, my desire to live for someone other than myself. Would be in vain. Caliko.. Caliko Dulock is dead. My heart grieves for the man that I loved, the man that I thought would remain at my side. When we were together he did not see me as his 'Ladyship' he saw me as a woman. A woman that laughed, a woman, that cried. That slept when she was weary, dined when she was hungry. He saw me as another mortal soul, like him.
Although he had his own birthright, he and I walked a different path. While Caliko cared nothing for his own blood. He turned to the ways of a hired blade. He believed he killed more than he should, he felt guilty for some of the lives he had taken. But yet he still went on with his trade, killing for coin. His wolfish grin and reputation others would often stray away from, he was a man that always knew what he wanted. At least in the early years I had known him, adventurous. Daring.. he answered to none but himself. I saw the questioning eyes of others, when I had been with him. "Why do you love a man such as he?" Hearing the unspoken question in my thoughts. I often wondered that myself, but the ways of the heart and mind can be two different things.
He was a man that often wanted to walk alone, even Kristophor could not always be at his side. He was both with the world and against it. When he looked at me though, when he held me. I knew he loved me, but he also wanted his freedom. Not because of anything I had done, but how unworthy his soul had felt. A man with blood on his hands and a woman that had joy, from simply being in his presence. At first Kristophor had told me that, Caliko only wouldn't return. That he went back to his wayward nature. But last evening he came to me saying "I failed you. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen." I stood there wondering what he had meant, then it was revealed to me that Caliko Dulock no longer wanted to be in the world of the living. A cliff would be his final resting place. And so there he died in Bree-land. My heart aches but my thoughts also turn towards Kristophor. He's so determined to look after me, I never asked him to. What is this? In my grieving my heart leans towards another? Confliction my new found enemy.
