(Tears could be seen as stained all throughout the parchment)
You really don't know what it's like to have a huge part of your life and your heart just ripped out of you until you experience it yourself. I really wished that there was no such thing as nobles in this world... If they didn't, Agreis would've been still alive. Do I blame Raven for what had happened to him because of him being captured? Or do I blame the one that had caused Agreis to die in the first place? I suppose I should explain how things were first.
Not too long ago, I made a note, journal page if you prefer to call it that way, of having to deal with this man named Hawk for kidnapping Raven and doing terrible things to him. I had wounded Hawk when he was distracted due to Aallan and Ridderik getting Raven's family out. I had thought that the affair would be over and the damn man would go back to Gondor. I was so terribly wrong.
He had appeared in the Pony when I was talking to Brynleigh and them. At first, I had thought that he was there for her. Though I had picked a fight with him for a little while, calling him on his bullshit with Aallan as he spoke of ten men awaiting outside. We had talked of Raven along with this one man from Dol Amroth (forgot his name) and this other man whom Raven later on nicknamed him as Eggy, trying to negotiate of terms in exchange for leaving him and his family alone. When things had seemed to have its reprieve, Agreis had come in, demanding where Hawk was. Truthfully, my heart ached for him. I had missed those days to where we spent to ourselves, the nights when we sleep.
Anyways, Agreis demanded Hawk of where Raven was. I honestly was confused due to the fact that I just saw Raven talking to a man not long before Hawk came into the Pony. However, it was later revealed that Raven was taken again by the same man. They had fought as there was started to be banging on the door, which was being shielded by Aallan. To my horror, Agreis got injured by the damn bastard. I wished that it was minor but it wasn't. Agreis, my mentor and lover, was bleeding out in front of me. As the battle ensued by the ten men against Aallan, Eggy, and the other man, I was by Agreis's side. I begged for him to stay with me, apologizing that I had gone away a few times and that I loved him.
The ten men were dealt with and the man who had gone by the name of Hawk was killed. Unfortunately, no healer came. No healer came to save Agreis from Death's grasp. I felt broken. I took Agreis's body out of the Pony from the kitchen and took his body to the graveyard that held my birth parents. I gave him a proper burial.
I had gone back to the Pony, planning to drown my sorrows away with ale. The taste was new to me but I didn't care as long as I could forget what had happened. I didn't realize Aeru had walked in until I was going to go to the pillar. I tried my best to make small talk with him but stopped as soon as Raven, Aallan, and Eggy came in the Pony. Of course, Raven asked if I was injured. I told him that I was fine though mentally and emotionally, I was. I had asked him if I can join him in Gondor to where he had said no. I tried to act normal afterwards, asking him that if he does go with others if they could give those enemies hell for both Agreis's sake and mine. I had left afterwards to home.
Now... Do I blame Raven for what had happened to Agreis? I should've been mad, right? After all, if he had not done what he did, Agreis wouldn't have died. Strangely, though, I can't bring myself to hate or blame Raven at all. Not to mention that Agreis had died in order to help find Raven. So... No... I don't blame Raven. Do I blame the man that had killed Agreis? Yes. And I sure as hell hope that he would suffer ten times worse of what Raven had gone through in wherever it might be of hell.
I suppose I should try to get some sleep, though, I doubt that I will be able to. Not even with Ghost's attempt to help comfort me. Agreis, I'll see you again in the next life. And... I certainly hope that when we do, things would be like the old days.
