Is been a while since Failandos and I separated.. A great friend..and someone I believed I loved.. I did sort of.. But my heart was not quite in right place.. I believe it was because we were so alike, but at same time could not quite understand eachothers burdens. I feel awful it ended this way.. I haven't seen him for a long long time now.. I miss him.. But I had to let him go, for his own sake.. It was my own choice. I could not go any further as long as I did not dare to give away my heart wholeheartly to him. And I could not carry the responsibility having him along on my dangerous journeys..
I know is difficult to decide whom to love or not.. But it seems I avoided to give away the must precious things a elvenheart can carry..Love.. Or.. I perhaps avvoided it because he was not the right one for me afterall.. I hope he feels the same way..
This circumstances have sort of made me very sad.. But I do have great friends around me. So my thoughts are occupided and I have started to smile again.. My beloved friends in Vanimar, the great Cauns Earinlin and Tindir has been a great support for me. I have talked a lot to them, especially Lord Earinlin that shows great concern for me. He knows what troubling me... I also have my young beloved Mother Eovina around. She struggles with her own burdens though, I know she is upto something that worries me, but she wont tell me.. Lithia is my bestfriend, she always has some good advices to share, and I don't know quite what to do without her.. My mentor and my inspiration Minuialglaer that knows so much, has also been a great friend and my rock lately. After all I am quite privilaged to be surrounded by them..And I had to let go my sadness. And go on with my life... And I have much to learn as a Scholar and Warden. And besides.. the alluring songs have seemed to ease a lot the latest days.. Perhaps the days will be much brighter now..?
