Drank myself to sleep last night, I know I can’t do that with Eom around but I couldn’t resist. I just needed to relax, I’m scared but I feel alone. Rick tells me he’s not keen on the idea of Oak coming back. I don’t know what to do.
What if he’s right? What if Oak just comes and goes as he pleases? We’re still engaged, but I don’t know. Everyone has that special person to confide in, Rick has Ceddy, Gold has Dal, Ame has Conn. Who do I have? Perhaps mine died years ago, leaving me alone until my last breath. I wish you were here Fleur, I have no clue what I’m doing. You were my best friend, my wife and the mother of my beautiful daughter.
I met this woman called Gracelyn, though I call her Grace, blonde Rohirrim lass. She’s funny and we played a game of asking each other questions she asked if I had children I told her I had two, Eomyr and Iridith. She’s not married, one of the questions I asked her. Though I’m not for woman anymore, it’s not easy being who I am… what I am.
What was that line in my speech at Rick’s wedding?
Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by the heart. It is a song that never ends. It is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.
I can live with Grace but I can also live without her. Oak, on the other hand I can’t seem to live without, every hour, every minute and every second of everyday he’s in my head. His damned handsome face and his smile that always lit up my days.
Perhaps that’s the mistake I’ve been making throughout my years, I’ve been picking woman I can live without and not going after the one person right under my nose. I care too much what other people think and not thinking about what I want!
I’ve made up my mind, Oak. I love you more than anything in this world! I’m not gonna let anything or anyone get between us! EVER!
Looking back at our love, it was passionate we were on fire. You cared for me and held me close protected me from the world. Iri has a saying ‘Find those who fan your flames’. You fan my flames. Anyone who doesn’t like it can go somewhere else, because I’m shaping my life around US not other people.
I won’t give up on us.
