I am healing. Slowly.
It hurts to move much. If the stitches in my stomach do not pull when I try, then it is the ones all down my back and across my shoulder. Given how much blood I lost, I do not dare risk tearing any of them through exertion. The pain is dulling now, thankfuly, down to just a mild ache if I stay still. This gives me hope that I should be in better, if not perfect, condition in short order.
The biggest problem I have at the moment, though, is not the pain or the suspicion that the haradrim man might come for me again, but concern for others. I lie awake at night, unable to find a comfortable position and incapable of quelling my fears. During the daylight hours, it preys on my mind constantly.
Drevorin is out there somewhere, though I know not where. The last report I had of him came from Davick who informed me that Mordevin had been sighted in his company. Worse than that, I am told there had been a fight and my love did not fare well against the huge Haradrim. From the way Davick described it, it sounded very much like the dark man defeated Drevorin with the ease of a master armsman versus an untrained child. I have seen Drevorin fight. I know that he is skilled, so this other overcoming him so neatly makes me fear for his saftey.
As I suspected, it would seem that Mordevin has no intention of killing Drevorin at this time. Davick informs me that he was let go. It is my fear that the man plans to take him back, do to him again what was done all those years ago. I cannot bear the thought of him in such a position again, but I know not what to do to prevent it. The best thing I can do is have faith that he will survive and remain free.
Many times in my life I have felt helpless, but never before as profoundly as this. Davick plans to pick him off along the road, Mordevin spoke of punishing him and probably wishes to break him again and so many others seek his head as well. Will he ever come back to me? Can he?
To make it that much worse, I am forced to keep these thoughts to myself. I can share them with no-one. I cannot risk word of our rekindled relationship getting back to those who might use it against him and as much as I love Blodwynn, she remains too angry to confide in.
I have never felt so alone.
