*The entry is five pages after the last one. The page is clean but in a beige color by the time passed and the letter are recognizable, clean and legible, contrasting the others entries. It occupies about three pages*
Long time isn’t? I actually forgot that I have a diary attached in my belt in about the whole time, and I accept that I’m a laughing now by that detail. Other thing that I laugh was my last entry; it was very… sad. I forgot all the pain there in The Bloody Dawn, when she was trying to help me, to control myself… all of that didn’t happened.
Maybe the worst decision was not be there, but the fact of that wasn’t my job. In the end, I was only a trouble there, and I’m glad that they kicked me out of it. What happened after? Well… nothing but a painful isolation I remember. Weeks and weeks wandering the forest of Bree, eating nothing but raw meat, drinking nothing more than the water of the river and sleeping behind the shadow of a tree, always with the possibility of meeting a brigand scouting or a foul beast following my steps.
Maybe that time of isolation was an advantage at the end, because I finally understood my nature. All that violence intrinsically deep in my mind It was for my treatment when I was a child, carrying a surname that was, long time ago, a synonymous of bloodlust and pain: The Golth Clan... Such gruesome past… have to be forgotten. The memories of that time are faded, already lost, but the feeling is the same, and that’s why I’ll try to never fight for anything anymore… or maybe that gruesome beast hidden behind my mind would be the reason of my demise again.
One day I met Taala after a long time and she told me that If I want to work with the guild again… Back there I considered the possibility but now I’m totally sure that, more than an opportunity it would be my demise, so I decided to don’t answer her unless she goes directly to me… But the thing that really changed my toughs was another lady…
Rosiebell, the one I loved too much… died the way I… didn’t expected. She went to another man in the end and… her death was pitiful: Dying while she was giving birth to a poor child that didn’t survived as well… she died before in my heart, that’s sure, but she also wasn’t the one that would safe me… That was the biggest mistake: Giving another one the responsibility of my own acts. But that’s doesn’t matter that much now… since I met another woman!
Sephara is her name and she’s a tailor. When I saw her face I recognize Rosie on her eyes… but she wasn’t like her: She’s made by herself but she choose a life without violence, a decision that today I’m still amazed for. She lost her memory as well, and the day I spare time on her house (A small, humble and charming one) I realized that, like me, she was afraid of her inherent nature... She let me sleep on her house and both of us were enjoying the time… mischievous one, with great sense of humor (a real dirty one actually) and… beautiful, no doubt: she’s beautiful. I felt like a teenager… yes, that’s dumb. By the way, I’m changing to a new house. Smaller but better located, since is in the same neighborhood of her and also near where she is!
Anyway… I’m glad that life give me a new chance… When I say my other entries I realized how lost me was on the way… But maybe is just a compensation for all the pain that I received? Or maybe is a truce for the pain that I delivered? Who knows…? Who knows…
*A sketch of her can be seen on the third page. Her hair flows as she smiles, looking down while she holds a bowl on her hands. The drawing is carefully drawn with precise lines that doesn’t leaves stains of ink, making a clean and beautiful drawing*
