I'm finally strong enough to sit up in bed by my own will. The past week has been a hard one, but one I would gladly go through all over again. Minus the blood and nearly dying though, that is if I had a choice in how things happened.
I guess I should record this from the start, so that I might look back on it someday and know that it was the day that our dear son was born. Forgive me if there is a great deal missing, for I was passed out for much of what I will write in here. What I have is what I remember and what has been told to me after. Like Kynna's birth, it started with great pain wracking my body, this time was much worse. It came hard and sharp. This wasn't the first time I had such pains with our son, the week before his birth seemed to be full of them. So Tali, through great pains of her own by being away for so long from her love, stayed with us nearly all day and late into each night. More crawling back to her home for the meager hours of rest she allowed herself, then anything else. I thank her for this, every time I look into our son's face. Because of her, I can do so...
Again there was a great deal of blood, Kynna was early as I succumbed to grief at the loss of the Dawn's first Captain. At least this is our story, in truth, I think she just wished to come out and see the world and to be a part of it. She grows so quickly, learns quickly too. But I side track myself. Where was I? Ah yes, the blood, it was worse than last time and seemed to not want to stop. During Deorcsynn's birth I felt a pain like no other. It wasn't like Kynna's birth, this pain was deep within. A stabbing pain in my abdomen, Tali tells me now that it was most likely when something within me gave way and nearly took my life.
All I can remember clearly was Tali sending Fastdred away and me calling him back each time. Each time he saw me he grew more pale. I can only imagine the sight that befell him as he would again enter and my screams for him. Toward the end of our son's birth things slowly got further away. Tali's voice seemed to drift on the very wind, Dred's insistence to be by my side, seemed filled with worry. I held on till I heard a loud cry of healthy lungs, Deorcsynn was born and I could finally close my eyes, so I did.
I don't know how long I slept, nor what fully happened during that time, I only know that when I opened my eyes, my son lay on my belly, with Tali holding him to my chest so that he could eat. She warned me not to move too much, to which I complied. Again there was darkness, in my dreams I heard Dred's voice arguing with Tali, telling her he had right to be by my side. I don't remember what her answer was, but I did learn later. At that time, Tali was fighting to keep me alive. I was bleeding faster than she could find its source. She knew that I would want our son to at least have one meal from a living mother. During this time, she allowed Dred into the room, to hold his son while he suckled. It was the break Tali needed, or so she said, with hands free of the child, she was able to deal with my... hemorrhaging, I think she called it?
The next time I woke it was to the wonderful face of our son cuddles in my arms, and soon after that of my love. Fastdred, came to my side and sat there, awed by the sight of his son, his loving eyes turning to me, those wonderful arms holding me and keeping all evil at bay. It was then that I knew we would be alright, the four of us. I am grateful to my cousin and her knowledge, but it is those arms that keep the nightmares away at night.
Enough of what nearly happened, I'm doing better now, I've got colour back in my face and even took a walk around the house today. What was once two is now four. I must thank Wil for taking such wonderful care of my cousin. Maybe one day their little family will grow too.
