Farewells to a dear friend

This page is tear stained...

Dear diary, I lost one of my closest friends.

Catilyn... she was brutally beaten... yet managed to survive.

I failed to save her.

Why did no one tell me of her disappearance? 

She despises me..

Father would have been ashamed of me.

I don't want hatred anymore..

I want to be adored.

To be accepted.

What do I do?