Faelfed,
It has been a while since I last wrote. In the meanwhile I've managed to stay out of trouble, or well, other than my quick escapade of waylaying a well-equipped company traveling East, over a year ago; I still feel the bruises when I press down on my thigh and my nose ever crooks slightly to the left. Rather than running from my troubles and resorting to petty crime to get by, I have come to the conclusion it is better to take responsibility for my actions. I have settled all debts and decided to cast aside the bottle, but I'm still in the process of figuring out how to do the latter. I am a lonely man, Faelfed, and I do not think taking to drink can longer provide the minimum of company I need to exist, yet here I sit pencil in one hand and bottle in other. I have forgotten what healthy interactions entail and I bring upon me only the pity eyes and looks of disgust of others. The drunk is like an old friend who is always willing to come out when called upon and when ignored for a while searches me out and insists we meet. What has become of me? Only the past month I found myself waking up in places I had not intended to go to sleep at and in phases of short sobriety realised my stupidity in drunkenness: how dare a man answer the kindness of strangers with indecent advances? I am ashamed - ashamed and so very miserable. I realise even the concern I've met with is founded in sheer pity. I am getting older, Faelfed, and if not now then when will I be able to shape myself up to be something that might be worth looking back upon in the future? I have been reached out to by a new company, and the opportunities that are implied are too good for me to pass up. I have started reading again, Faelfed, and now am confident to write once more and here I will lay out my new climb onto higher places. I have decided to redeem myself, because I do not want to live by the alms of others - I wish to be my own man, in his own right, with his own agenda and I wish to be regarded with respect, for once, more than with pity. Faelfed, hereby I promise, and I do not know how yet, but hereby I promise I will become a man of honour and a leader of men. People will know my name, and they will no longer associate it with the smell of ale.
