Thoughts of a Captain's Wife #1

*Looks at Lendil in his crib sleeping peacefully, turning to the desk, only light by a few candles, picks up her quill and starts writing* Isilorbor have left for Mirkwood, he have been gone for a few weeks now. I've decided to keep a journal when his away. Keeping these thoughts in my head doesn't help me, they stick and become like poison. *Looks at the little book she is writing in, turns her head looking at her bed, at Isilorbor's empty side and closes her eyes for a few minutes before returning to the journal* It breaks my heart each time I have to see him leave. Fearing it might be the last. Lendil can feel my worries, I'm sure. And he too feel the absent of his father. Sometimes waking in the middle of the night, crying and beyond comfort. He misses his father there's no doubt in my mind or my heart. *Places down the quill, resting her hand on the back of her neck, rubbing it a little, trying to remove some of the tension* Lenwenn's dancing is moving forward, but she doesn't really seem happy, she wants Isilorbor there watching her, cheering her on. I've promised her, as soon as he returns, we will go and watch her. For some reason she doesn't want me to come by myself. I think she fears I still not approves, and its true, I didn't like the idea to start with, and in Gondor Isilorborand I had many talks about it before I agreed, but I'm glad I did. She is so talented. *Smiles a little to herself remembering the last time she saw Lenwenn preform. Her thoughts move on to Lessel* My Lessel... Were to start? She seems different, after one of the Heirs healed her, she have changed. She have become more withdrawn, her mind growing darker and it worries me. When Isilorbor return we will have to do something, I want my girl back! *Feel a tear running down her cheek, takes a deep breath and wipes it away* No, I'll have to be strong. I just misses him so, it feels like a part of my soul is missing. I know it will first be complete when he returns. I keep hoping that each time I wake up he will be laying there beside me. I guess there's nothing left but to wait. *Looks at the last words dry and closes the journal*