Time passes swiftly..
Welin has just turned twenty years old, I see her pass through my fingers now. Is an odd feeling, it seems there is not much more I can control. She is independent now and she is bright woman with her own opinions, capable to do her own choices and the right decisions.
When she was younger she was dependent on me, and I could hear her tender voice all the time.. "Mum? Why is it so?, Mum? Where shall we go now?, Mum? Help me?" These are things I do not hear anymore.. and is a little sad.
Apart from that she is not any longer in my house or in Rose's house. She is travelling, studying and getting to know the world.
It’s like a part of me has disappeared, and I see myself worrying more now than I did before.. I cannot control her any more, I don't know where she is and is she with the right people? I cannot think of this anymore.. I need to let her go..
I try to focus on music as always. Major things have happened, it’s like a breakthrough for me.. Before I have travelled around and written melodies as a way to relax and make people smile. Not earning much, and there has not been any income with regards to my music. We have not travelled around as beggars either.. We just have made shows to bring some light and entertainment for those who need to escape a little.
An exclusive circle of the upper class has asked me to play tunes to their parties, and I do get payment for it..
I cannot really decide what I prefer. To play for the common people and bring smile and a glimpse of hope into their hard ways of living.. or play at a dinner party where wealth are visible in every corners, and people do not even notice me..
I do not know.. but either way, I feel happy because I seem to manage on my own without using all my spare time on tailoring and farming..
Besides I am not only by myself anymore.. Ever since I met Erihael on the way to the Kings Crossing, he has joined The Shades as a musician. As music companions we developed a very close friendship, and he was offered a job on Pinegrove Farm. Years passed by and he became more or less a very stout and strong man protecting me and my goals with my music. He often walked me home at late nights, where no safety could be guaranteed. Sometimes he walked in front where mobs were around in dark alleys. Just to make sure I was safe.. I often questioned his bravery, and he told me he once were a part of a Warband from Evendim. He still is one of them, but as he hasn’t got any pressing assignments he decided to live a peaceful life in Bree for time being.. But just for the time beeing...
As years passed by.. He did tell me his bravery was not only about him. But he felt he had to protect those he cared for.. So then he declared his feelings for me.. It was a vulnerable moment..
I once promised myself, that I would not involve myself with a man. Ever since Welin's Father disappeared in the most coward way you can think of.. I just could not look at a man anymore..
The only man I could think of, that could measure my demands on how a man should be. Was my Father.. But a Father is a Father.. he has been gone for thirty years, so I think I have developed some kind of a Saint.. And what human being can ever be like that?
Erihael however has taught me a lot about trust and patience. He also taught me a lot of reality and values. He has never pressured me, nor has he had any expectations. He just have been there for me in thick and thin..
But times changes and my view of life also changed.. So at this present moment.. I am very content, happy and now Erihael is the one..
I have not told Welin about this, nor Rose or Drimmeth. But I am sure it will not come as any surprise at them. They have all nagged and hinted to me. I should let go my ghosts in the past, and embrace the love Erihael gives me. I am sure it will be happy news for them all..
I am finally complete now.....
