Journal 9: Hated Fear

I feel such a coward. It is such a childish thing to be afraid of. Badhor and I were caught in a thunderstorm earlier. An exceptionally strong one. It is merely loud noise and bright light, and yet with every crack of thunder to reach my ears as the storms rages overhead, every thunderclap I feel slam through my frame, feel in the air, feel in the ground, I freeze in terror. I owe Badhor a basket of apples. Two baskets even. When we huddled together under a great maple tree, I pressed myself against the trunk of the tree. Storms do not bother Badhor in the slightest, his temperament is so mellow. He moved to shield me from the storm, pressed between him and the tree. He curled his neck over my shoulder, using his chin to pull me to his chest to comfort my fear. I despise that storms scare me so much. This fear makes me feel weak. I was too terrified to do anything but wrap my arms about Badhor's neck, grasping his mane and hiding against his throat. The only one that knows of this fear is Badhor. Warriors should not be afraid of lightening and thunder. Hopefully I will be able to overcome this fear in Imladris. I dislike admitting fear, or hurts of the heart. I had to wait three hours for my hands to stop shaking before I could write this journal entry. I hate the control this gripping fear has over me. To be able to immobilize me entirely with naught but a sound. IT DRIVES ME MAD!! I pray it does not storm on the way to Imladris. This fear could kill me. Should a storm begin whil I fought with orcs, AI! Freezing in fear would end me!! I cannot ignore this danger...