Continued from Manhandled, Folly and Fury, Sword and Stone, Black Ice, Deep Thoughts,The Speech, Expectations
Those bright eyes of Veryacano, once a joy and delight to Parnard, were now a terror. He would not lift his head up nor say anything all the way back to the valley, because he felt as nothing. He was humiliated, bewildered and afraid: afraid of Veryacano, afraid of the Hammers, and afraid of what lay before him. In his brooding silence, he looked over things in his mind, and considered what had befallen him.
All my doings have been worthless, he thought, as he sorrowfully followed the Hammers’ footsteps through the snow. I cannot endure to think of them. I am not thinking of them. I have something else to think of. Little did I expect, only a good look and a kind word, but this folk has no such goodness in their ancient hearts to give; it has long dried up and blown away, as a withered green place in a desert. And now my feet are caught in a trap of my own making!
He bitterly regretted his promise of service to Veryacano. Many times on the way back to the valley Parnard wished he had not been found, and that he had frozen to death in the snow. He could not be grateful to Veryacano or Estarfin for saving his life. It was their duty, nothing more, nothing less, and what remained for him now? Troubles and worry unending! An impossible task had been put before him.
Veryacano even said that I knew nothing of battle! So why would he choose me to persuade Lord Anglachelm? He said I had skill of words. Parnard snorted. My words are just empty air, nothing but useless fripperies. I have been set up to fail, because like my worthless deeds and my empty words, I am but nothing. I will fail in my task, and then the Lord Veryacano will take his revenge on me, and seem justified in it.
Parnard wondered what Lord Veryacano would do to him in his anger. It made his stomach hurt to think about it, and his mind would not rest.
