Leoffrith

The sounds of steel clashing together rang out in the yard, with the many boys shouting as they fought one another. It was a warm afternoon in Pelargir, and everyone was sweating and panting as they trained with their swords.

I asked myself many baffling, troubling questions. How I could know that Haritha wants to change, how I could help her, whether she could maintain her determination past temptations, whether she could succeed, what my part in it would be, what would happen if she did succeed, and what would happen if we failed. All a fog of uncertainty around an already-clouded life full of duties not yet paid, work to be done, things to learn, challenges.

Every day I spend working on ways to make myself a better man in one way or another. Today I've been practicing my archery; since Miss Tylva showed me I had been holding the bow wrong, I've been trying to correct that, but I wonder if I'll need a teacher.

Some time ago I felt like my purse had become heavy enough for my travels next spring. I still had to be careful with my coin, and not buy ale every day, or other luxuries, but I had enough for the tolls, and a little extra. Plus I would have enough of my own provisions for the road. Today, I am having to beg for work once more, and have given up even half-pints of ale until I find some.

My resolve to focus on my training, my apprenticeships, and my future, has been tested, and has stood strong. It hurts awfully, though. I've been alone nearly all of the last three years. Every time I feel like I'm not alone, it turns out I still am. Maybe I always will be. And that, above and beyond any pain from the particulars of the moment, makes me think this hurt is meant to be.

What a day it had been. There had been times when she had a couple people in her shop at the same time, rarely though it happened, but that day she had had not two. or even three, but five. Five people in her shop.

Home again! And with it, all the mixed feelings one would expect. A bit of melancholy that our trip is over, and the lazy, idyllic days of self indulgence are in the past. It is time for me to head back to the barrack stables, and back to Neyaa's farm, while my beloved heads out each day with pickaxe in hand.