I had ample time to consider setting sail for the West. Born of exiles though I was, I had taken no part in any kinslaying, mostly due to my father’s machinations. Even so, I willingly accepted the foretelling of Námo Mandos was upon me as well. After the War of Wrath, I considered the ‘Pardon of the Valar’. Some of those I knew, had ridden and fought beside, accepted it willingly. They were tired of Endor and wanted peace. Much of what they had loved was destroyed, there was little to hold them. Others chose to remain. Most out of love for these Eastern lands, a curiosity over lands to be explored and building of new settlements. Still others remained because they did not accept the Valar’s forgiveness, holding themselves innocent of wrongdoing, and so needing it not. It was not until a little later than we realised Galadriel was one of the latter. Neither had she given up her desire to have her own lands to rule.
I will not say I was not tempted. To see the land of my parent’s birth, to, in due course, meet with them again, were enticing thoughts. I missed them, and the many friends I had lost. But I was one of those who would see what the new lands held. I would explore and learn, and perhaps build? The possibility was not for those moments only, the way West would lie open for many yeni. But once left, there would be no return to these lands. We all knew that. Once we said ‘namarië’ to Endor, there would be no return, unless the Valar permitted it. I could not say farewell. I could not say farewell to my enduring hope that, somehow, he was still alive.
Despite my father’s words, despite what a few others had said, and the terrible kinslaying in Doriath and then at the Mouth of the Sirion, I still could not believe Estarfin was dead. That was enough to ensure I remained.
We two rode out at first light, as he had wished, having partaken of a small breakfast of fruit and cheese. The horses had been roaming free, but came as soon as we called. Once mounted, Estarfin and I rode off down that same road, until taking a turning that carried us still close to the coast, but west to Forland.
“You have never mentioned visiting Forlond, meldanya,” I said. “Shall we ride to the city itself?”
Estarfin had obviously slept well and seemed quite refreshed. He was eager to ride, and made no comment about the sea. He shook his head as a breeze whipped long strands of his hair over his face.
“Because I never have visited it, Danel.” He brushed his hair aside. “I departed Beleriand as the waters finally claimed it. I stood high in a mountain pass watching the great sea cover all I had known, my home, my memories.”
I brought Pelorian alongside Norlómë, and reached for his hand. These were sorrowful thoughts, and I would have him not think of them overmuch.
“After that, I wanted to be alone, away from all, as you know,” he continued. “Yet I also missed our people. I eventually made for that small fishing village of the Falathrim I took you to. I thought you were dead. No word anywhere I asked, of you and your father. Not even at the camps at the time of the War of Wrath was there any news.”
I nodded and squeezed his hand, to remind him I was very much alive. “My father died in Doriath, it was reported to me, as I have already told you. And I kept myself apart. As for that last battle of the First Age, I was used to riding with the people of Ambarussa, including my cousins. I was with them throughout. We did what we knew best. We scouted, we set traps, we ambushed and harried the enemy. I thought of you every day.”
He lowered his head. “If only I had known.”
“If you had known, you may have been distracted, and so possibly have truly fallen. Though the days were long, I am glad matters worked out as they did.”
He raised my hand to his lips, and kissed it. “As am I. Now, shall we race along the sands?” He gestured towards the cliff less stretch of golden sand that ran beside the path.
And I was away. Nórlomë was known for her speed, but Pelorian could endure much. My mare would never win a short sprint, but over any distance…we would see who won!
Now Forlond was the second city of Lindon, the one mostly built by our people fleeing the doom of Beleriand. It was from there that Gil-Galad had overseen his kingdom, while Círdan was Lord of the Grey Havens. Its design was distinctly Noldorin, much like some of our earlier strongholds of the First Age. There were nearby fields and woodlands, but there was also a well-equipped guard, and soon enough a navy, though we Noldor were never as good with ships as the Third Kindred. It was built on and under a large granite cliff, from which different streams of a waterfall fell. Partly the river followed the path of the Gelion, which had flown nigh our original home, though the land had changed.
We rode past many abandoned houses, most fallen into a state of dereliction. The gardens were very overgrown, and in some places we had to divert from overgrowth on the path to make progress. The city had once been very large, but the creation of Rivendell in the Second Age had caused some Noldor to move East, while the passing of centuries had seen more travel into the West. The place was likely only a third of its original size.
It was still most beautiful. I hoped to show Estarfin the places I loved best. As it transpired, Estarfin won the race, though only by a head. Norlomë’s speed prevailed, though Pelorian was close to overtaking her. It mattered not who won. It was simply good to have fun together. We made for the nearest stables,and bid the stablehands to attend to our horses, giving them time to cool down, walking them and grooming them before feeding. Then we headed to one of my favourite inns. The ‘Moonlit Ebbtide’ was well known for its relaxing atmosphere, whether one sought food and wine, a snug bed with a good view, or to tell or listen to interesting tales. Some tables were set along one side on the main room, with comfortable chairs arranged in circles for discussion, poetry or music. We were still a few hours before lunch, so the place was almost empty.
Estarfin looked around appreciatively. “This is a bright place, it feels welcoming, like a home should,”
“Like our home shall soon enough. Not that I am turning it into an Inn.” We took one of the tables, adorned with two vases of fresh cut flowers and a silver fingerbowl with rose petals. The nearby window was open. It was to the seaward side rather than the market, so it was quiet, apart from the waves.
“Worry not. I am fine,” he said as he looked at the board by the bar. On it was written the daily options. “I shall tell you if I am not.”
I nodded. By design, this city was by the sea, though I planned we should go further inland soon. Neither would it do for me to keep asking him. We were both old enough to know if we were uneasy by the sound of the waves. I also looked at the displayed menu. There was cod in a fine batter coating or without. Sea bass, and sliced roast boar. All had vegetable or salad accompaniments. The listed wines were mostly particular to the region, though Limael’s red and white also featured.
Estarfin was looking undecided.
“It is between the cod and the boar, is it not?”
He smiled and nodded. “But we are by the sea, which is unlikely to happen often. I shall try the battered cod. And a bottle of the local red?”
I nodded, though my choice was the seabass.
The proprietor wandered over, having noticed we seemed ready to order.I knew him quite well.
“Nandaner” he introduced himself to Estarfin. A Quenya name still used by a rather noldorin looking ner. He was tall, though a touch more slender of build than was usual. His dark brown hair was cut at collar length, easy to manage as he was also a cook. “I have not seen you recently, Lady Daniel." He smiled at me, and inclined his head to Estarfin.
“I have been away of late. Wandering, as is my way,”
He nodded, likely recalling some of my past tales in his presence. I had entertained patrons with stories of old on several occasions.
“This is my husband, Estarfin. We are recently wed.” I explained.
“Estarfin made a polite nod.
“Estarfin from Thargelion! Then you have both struck a very good fortune. I have heard of you.”
Estarfin looked up, then looked at me.
Nandaner waved a hand. "I only know you were both born and raised in the same fortress, and that you both thought the other slain. I know she would not move on, which tells me you had her heart. I am most glad for the current situation. It is not my place to pry, but wait on you both most diligently. Have you decided?”
We told him of our choices, with Estarfin inquiring further after the nature of the coating on the cod.
“Ah, you must know it is a moist and succulent fish, but not the most flavoursome. Yet Inns in Forlond have long competed to perfect sauces or coatings that add to the flavour. Ours is a very fine coating of flour and breadcrumbs, infused with a combination of herbal oils and black pepper. Many find it to their taste,” he explained.
Estarfin nodded. “I shall try it then, Nandaner.
Then he returned to the kitchen, with an elleth I recognised as one of his three daughters replacing him at the bar.
Estarfin took a look around the room. There was another couple on the far side, heads close together in a private conversation. There were four neri at a table near the door, seemingly talking about a new rope that was being produced to a very high standard in Mithlond.
I leant forward, for Estarfin wished to say something private.
“So you tell folk about me, Racarnê?”
“You know I have done so. You have always been in my thoughts, even when not in my life.”
He nodded, then sighed.
“I did not think of you often after the First Age. It was too painful to have any hope after what I beheld. I asked after you where I could, but none seemed to know what happened to you. You were not always in my thoughts, but you were in my life. No interest in any courtship, or relationship have I been. No thoughts of family. I believed I would never know such joy, for the one who had my heart was no more.”
I gently stroked his cheek.
“Meldanya, there is no ‘wrong’ in this matter. We both lived as best we could in the circumstances.”
“I did not speak of you to many, save any I considered may have news. Others had lost loved ones too, I did not wish to spread gloom.” He enfolded my hands in his.
“Have no concern. I only ever spoke of you with the deepest respect, and not to many.”
“Even in Imladris?”
I laughed. “Especially in Imladris.”
Then Nandaner returned with the wine and glasses. The meals followed soon after.
