The Rhyme of the Ancient Hobbit

The Rhyme of the Ancient Hobbit

Part One

And there the ancient hobbit sits
With many gathered round
Much silence in the Inn that night
There hardly was a sound
And then the Gaffer thumps his mug
His eyes looked sharp and mean
"I'll tell ye all about the Inn,
And why the Dragon's green!"

"So long ago, I was a lad"
Was how his tale began
"I worked the pits in Scary town
It toughened up these hands
The work was hard, we quarried deep
So firmly in the ground
The day was full of sweat and toil
And constant banging sounds"

The Gaffer took another swig
And wiped froth from his face
"Oh, down those pits", the Gaffer said
"Was such a lonely place,
But late one day, as evening fell,
I saw my friend Bill wave
He gestured me to come and see
He said he'd found a cave!"

But yet again, the Gaffer stopped
And drank more of his ale
"No, don't you stop!", the crowd did shout
"Do tell us more your tale!"
"So listen!", Gaffer shouted out
"I walked across to Bill
And sure enough there was a cave
A cavern in a hill"

"Too dark to see what was inside
We felt we should go down
We took with us a pair of lamps
To light the stoney ground
So down and down and down we went
The heat was soon intense
And from the deep, did echo through
Strange rumblings as we went"

"Now deep inside, the path grew wide
And opened up ahead
A large cavern, so dimly lit
By faint shadows of red
The noise was like a grumbling bear
But many times as loud
And can you guess what we saw there?"
The Gaffer quizzed the crowd.

"We know not what, so tell us now!"
The crowd all did reply
"What did you see inside the cave?"
And then the Gaffer sighed
"Was not a bear nor wolf nor troll"
But something from days gone
With greenish scales and plated tale
A slumbering dragonnnnn!"

The crowd all gasped, the Gaffer grinned
And carried on his tale
"We both could scarce believe our eyes
And both of us did wail!
But what a foolish thing to do
The noise, it made it wake
And rising up, it gave a roar
That made the cavern shake

"So Bill and I ran off to hide
We crouched behind a stone
And watched the beast unfold its wings
And fly away alone..."
But then the Gaffer gave a cry
Abruptedly stopped his tale
"If you want me to carry on
First get me a new ale!"

Part Two

"A drink", a hobbit shouted
"To quench the Gaffer here"
The barman then came over
To serve a full new beer
The Gaffer took it quickly
He glugged almost half down
And wiping off some dribble
Gazed wildly around
"So all you hobbits want to know
Just how this dreadful story goes?"

"The night was now upon us
And stars all lit the land
We followed close the dragon
Our torches in our hands
As down to Brockenborings
The dragon made to fly
To stop it would be risky
We knew we had to try
We had to save the precious Shire
From Dragon's evil burning fire!"

"We saw it then had landed
On top the Plough and Stars
The timbers creaked and shivered
We watched if from afar
We nervously approached it
Whilst picking up some sticks
No sooner had we closed in
It flew off rather quick
So Bill and me, we followed still
As it flew on to Overhill"

"The village kept on sleeping
It flew far on and on
And after circling hilltops
It flew past Hobbiton
But landing in Bywater
It grabbed and ate some sheep
And curling up there tightly
It seemed to fall asleep!
So very quickly we both crept
To slay the beast there as it slept"

"We grabbed some fallen timber
And with all of our might
We swung it at the Dragon
And killed the beast outright!
Our task was not yet over
We dare not leave it there
If other hobbit's saw it
The whole land would be scared!
We feared that hobbits would all flee
Should a dead Dragon they all see"

"Before the new day dawning
We dug with all other strength
Until we'd dug a deep hole
Some twenty feet in length
Although we both felt weary
Our arms and hands all hurt
We pushed in the dead Dragon
And covered it with dirt
As sunlight flooded through the land
Both Bill and I then clean our hands"

"A bounder then appeared
And said 'Hey, who goes there?'
And Bill, then thinking quickly
Replied without a care
'I'll tell you what my name is
They call me Bill Rootknot
I'm building me a tavern
On this here very spot!'
So, Bill did build this fine tavern
Thus naming it The Green Dragon!"

And so the story ended
The Gaffer looked around
And wandered out the tavern
There barely was a sound
But do you all believe it?
This fantastical of tales
Or was it just the product
Of drinking too much ale?
But all of you can be assured
This Inn is here for evermore!