Much of the text of this diary entry is interspersed and scattered with lists, notes, questions and rough diagrams, especially through the opening paragraphs. Questions of provision, of packing and supply, lists of names which generally seem to belong to Breeish folk, or those of the wandering Eglain. Geographic points, and estimates of miles between them. Sketched and crude drawings of specific places on the eastern road that may present difficulty and danger, with arrows and labels showing points of attack. It is no consistent work, rather seeming the product of whatever thought springs to mind in a moment, though there is thought and care in each scrawled observation. The final few paragraphs are entirely free of such tangential interruptions
So it seems settled - I am to return to the Halls of Lord Elrond, and am to do so in company. It be a strange chance, but not an unwelcome one, and glad am I already for the chance to make such a journey.
It be some months since last I were in those halls, and I be glad for the chance to see them anew. I remember well how strangely they moved me to joy and sorrow, and how deep were both. Maybe it be that I need such a stirring once more. For though I be more settled in thought than I were of late, also does Bree continue to cause me unease. Aye, a change of scenery, and a journey for a cause other than my usual fell work, be full welcome.
My companions at present be three, and I would not wish to add many more, for to travel in great company will make our progress slow, and our passage clear to unfriendly eyes. Yet a company of this size, or even a little larger, be well-chosen, and I have no great fear as to our safety.
The one great fear of mine be that I know not my companions over-well, for I have met them but of late. Yet they all three seem pleasant and good companions, and I would not have agreed so readily to this scheme were they not. Friend Nate especially seems a worthy companion - sensible of thought and canny in the wilds. I would be glad for the meeting of him even were it not for this sooncoming journey, for he seems a good man. Yet glad also will I be to have him by my side on the road, for I warrant he will be of great aid in securing camps and foraging for food, and he be sensible of thought and prudent in judgement besides.
If I be but lately acquainted with friend Nate, I cannot pretend to know naught but the merest of his friend, the so-called ‘Sea-maiden’, Faye. She seems well to my judgement, and both friend Nate and friend Shooty speak highly of her. Yet alas, I fear I have begun our friendship ill, as is so often my poor manner. I be sorry for the offence caused, and be full aware that it be through naught but my own fault. I can but hope that in time, I will be able to make amends with friend Faye, and will do what I may to make it so.
Friend Shooty, the great inspirer of this strange scheme, be rather a different question. Friend Nate be concerned as to how adept a traveller he will prove, and I understand his doubts, even if I share them less. It be true that he seems over-confident in the ease of making such a journey, and mayhap be focused on rather different problems than those which occupy me. I be worried for the planning of camp sites, the gathering of provision, the preparation of supplies, the scouting of the road. Friend Shooty, if he be believed, seems to think that we go to war and adventure, that we will be sore beset by foes, and that concerns such as provisioning and planning of movement be of little note. The easiest battle to win be the battle that need never be fought.
Yet friend Nate also underestimates friend Shooty a little, I suspect, for I suspect the hobbit be hardier than he may appear, and more given to caution and care under open sky than he is when drinking in inn. Yet only time will tell. And in fairness, also did Solveij say that she think the hobbit be naive.
She be not wrong about him. Yet her fear stems not from friend Shooty, and it would be easier were she worried merely on his account. Yet she said as much to me. And I said it not, but I do feel likewise - gladly would I travel with her, on this trip or another, though I know it be an impossibility and unwise besides. If it were not for her duty to kin, I doubt not that she would come.
Be I so weak? That it be naught but duty imposed upon others that keeps me from being unwise? And there be a part of me, a foolish part, which thinks likewise. That my newfound fears and worries would be put to rest if she were to accompany in roaming abroad.
This be selfish, that I would rather put her in harms way alongside myself, than face danger alone and know she be safe. Selfish and stupid. I must not allow such idle and selfish hopes room to grow. And yet, allow it I do, and it be greatly to my discredit.
Then again, maybe there be something of ill-thought in the air of late, for Solveij has herself seemed uneasy, and it worries me. There be some private concern weighing upon her, and she be oft unlike herself. And, stranger still, she be unwilling to speak of it. I be torn - be it my duty to enhearten her to speak of it? Or serve I her need better by remaining silent?
“You think too much.” Maybe that be true after all. And yet, no matter how hard I think, never it seems to be enough for me to do well, with Solveij or with any other friend. I do not know what to do.
The sun rises, I must put quill to side and snatch some little rest. I have much to do today. I hope I will be able to finish my task ere the end of the month. The work goes well and truly (surprisingly!) I am enjoying it, though I made little progress this day. Though at least I have the craft and finishing of it prepared now.
Aye, sleep, and then I will return to my labour.
