Now this ‘un might just get me in trouble – I wishes to make it absolutely plain that any resemblance to any ‘obbit, living or dead, is hentirely coincidental!
The Grand Order of the Lost Biscuit (Introduction)
In a country far away,
And nothing like we know today,
In a burrow deep and wide
A highborn hobbit did reside.
She was the mistress of her land,
She ruled her folk with even hand
And all professed there’d never been
A mightier or more noble queen.
That being said - twixt you and me –
Her temper fits were legendary.
If something didn’t go her way
Best hide somewhere, or run away.
Now this fine queen – who I’ll not name –
Had a particular claim to fame.
Inside her hole was hid a treasure
Whose price, ‘tis said, was beyond measure.
In a locked chamber deep within
She kept a magic biscuit tin!
Every cookie that she’d taste
The very next day would be replaced!
Such sweet fancies filled that jar
Brought as tributes from afar.
Night and day she’d nibble and munch –
And sometimes eat before her lunch!
She loved all biscuits, for in truth,
She really had the sweetest tooth!
But one stood out above the rest,
She always said it was the best.
She kept it on a special plate,
But what it was I can’t relate
For on one dark and fateful day
Someone carried it away!
Her rage and fury knew no bounds
The palace shook to dreadful sounds,
The queen’s blood boiled, ‘tis said her screams
Reduced to crumbs the custard creams.
She called her subjects to her side:
“You must set out at once and ride.
My precious is of untold worth
Go search the length of Middle Earth.
“I pronounce you all are honour bound
To never cease until it’s found.
In face of danger you must risk it…
The Grand Order of the Lost Biscuit!”
