Cook, clean, feed, read, teach, cook, clean again...
Eira was so happy she had stopped working on Millshaw repairs.
As she took care of her animals, as she cleaned up after her labors. As she taught Dammon how to read, as she read up on baby books herself. She shooed the cats away from the chicken eggs, she fished by the pond and spoke with the bog lurker. A deep sadness took her as she felt drained from even this.
She could cook for everyone; but when a friend was down, she was unable to help without being shooed away. How useless had she become! Unable to save Syllea from harm, unable to make Egfor happy, unable to cure Ristiinna's loneliness. She was so, so- ...
She could not do anything right.
She screamed, standing above the flowers she was tending. She slammed her to fist against the wall and cursed her weakness and inability. She seethed through her teeth as she felt cold and alone in her house. This aggression, of course, caused her cats to hide away. Nimraph and the boys were gone, they did not see it either.
So she felt free to curse in Black Speech, cursing her uselessness and burdensome nature. All the while, she whispered in Westron once...
"Tell me I'm wrong..."
She pulled her red, clenched fist off of the wall. She held her stomach as tears flooded her eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I love you, darlings. You deserve a better mother than me... I'm nothing. I'm a waste. I'm useless. But I love you so much... Somebody help."
She fell to the floor, where she had dropped her watering can, and started weeping.
