“How much longer should we wait?”, Claywick asked, passing the bowl of strawberries across the table to Caladna. It seemed the only way to break the silence with her was to talk about Cutch. She looked up at the berries, and pointedly not at him, as she set the bowl next to her breakfast plate.
“You may leave whenever you wish”, she answered, her voice airily sarcastic and barely above a whisper. Looking sideways through the artfully elf-crafted window at the light of a new day, she sipped silently from her tea cup.
“Very well”, he continued quietly, settling into a determined tone. “You are upset with me. But this is Cutch we are talking about.” He kept his eyes insistently on her.
Caladna set down her cup and, after what seemed an eternity to him, met his gaze. “I am tired of being upset with you. I am exhausted with silly hopes about you. It is time for my heart to look away, Clay, since it is clear yours won’t see mine.” Without breaking her impassive stare on his face, she deftly added a few strawberries to her plate. Clay leaned back in his chair, jaw muscles working, and nervously shifted his gaze between her and anything else in the room. He cleared his throat to stall for time before continuing.
“I have always seen your heart, Cally, but have you really looked into mine? Do you see what is always there in the shadows?”
“Really Clay? Do you think me some blind girl? Do you think I am not aware of the part of yourself that scares even you? Have you no expectation that Cutch and I have worried about that in you? That we’ve spoken about it to each other?” Clay’s face darkened. “He has told you, then.”
“Of course, he has, you great …” She paused to rein herself in with a cleansing breath. “This is our Circle we are talking about. Of course, we confide in each other our concerns about you, just as you and I have about Little Man, and I am sure just as the two of you have about me.” Her face enlivened and she lifted a strawberry to her lips.
“Then certainly you understand my concerns about us. About you and I.”
She pursed her lips with chagrin before opening them to pop in the strawberry and slowly chew it, deliberately holding his eyes on her. After swallowing, she calmly spoke. “I understand the two of you have this damnably self-deprecating angst that has led you both on separate, mindless journeys of heroic nonsense, selfishly hurting folks who love you. You think your own demons come from a cursed joining of Beorning and Man, which is silliness. You are at least as much, if not more, what you choose to be, as is everyone else. You want to believe you are cursed, then you are. But, if I thought you were, do you think I would let you anywhere near the orphanage? You may believe what you will of yourself, but I have seen you with the children. You are a happy blessing to them, as they are to you and as you would be with your own children, and they, in turn, would not be monsters because you would not allow it.” She lifted a challenging brow at him and her tea cup to her lips, daring him to respond.
He examined her face, searching for an answer, and after a moment realized that it wasn’t there. He held it in his own heart, behind a door he’d been frightened to open. “I love you.” he blurted out.
Her empty cup fell.
The door into the elven guest bungalow opened and Cutch danced in, a lightness to his step and a broad silly grin gracing his face. He froze as he watched Clay and Cally locked in a moment. Cautiously, he stepped to the table with an elaborately crafted tray, intent on clearing away their breakfast. Without taking her eyes off Clay, Cally pointed at the door. Little Man nodded, turned, and tip-toed out, quietly closing the door behind him. “It’s about time you stated the obvious”, she murmured. “You know I have loved you for a very long time.”
With child-like fear still tracing his eyes he asked, “So, now what?”
Resting her softened face between hands propped up on elbows on the table, she answered, “We go home.”
Clay, calmed by her answer, nodded. “So, we’ve waited long enough?”
With a crooked grin, Cally answered, “In more ways than one. I take your point, however, when it comes to Little Man. Yes, he was disappointed to read Elf-sister’s note from Windwalker, saying she would be delayed. But he lets his love trust her and he’ll patiently wait here for her and take care of her … their home. We should get back to Bree and the orphanage, though.”
In unison, they stood, facing each other. With the inevitability of nature’s way, they stepped into each other's embrace, but just as their lips neared, Cutch knocked at the door.
“May I come in now?”
In unison, they answered, “No” and shared their first lovers' kiss.
