Alas, it looks like I have forgotten about this little book of mine, as it got stacked under maps, land writs and building plans and so on. I found it when organizing things for the Inn.
There is so much to write about, I know not where to start. Perhaps I will start with the one constant on my mind.
He started off as a passing flight of fancy, another handsome man to flirt with. We tread into dangerous territory of becoming more than that, and quickly I was ensnared. I quickly found myself not only falling into bed with him, but in love as well, as much as I tried to deny or deflect it.
I feel like I am cursed, like being in a relationship with me condemns men to death or treason. I fear losing Dem in the same ways.
He has picked me up after I have been through hell and back and taught me that I can be loved in return for all the endless, unconditional love I pour out for those who hurt me. I do not know what I did to deserve such a good man. I feel that he is too good for me.
He is kind, handsome, witty in his own way. He is regal and graceful, with the manners of a king. I have never felt more safe, warm or secure than in his arms. He is an intelligent and learned man. He is quiet, though that is not a bad thing. I am plenty loud enough for the two of us... heh.
I feel like a pauper next to this raven haired prince of mine. It feels odd to me, to have someone to call mine, and someone to call me theirs. And mean it. His loyalty and love is unyielding. My eyes have not strayed from him. Oh sure, I find men attractive and will playfully flirt, but never do I seriously think of anything other than playful banter with others except him now.
I am not used to this commitment, and it scares me.
But I am his and he is mine. A proper mate of mine. I have considered settling before, but not like this.
Rings were exchanged and vows of commitment were said. I keep accidentally slipping and calling him a husband, as this is how my parents were wed. I need to stop until we are properly- no I need to stop. I will jinx it, something bad will happen if I look too far ahead with hope.
I will end here, otherwise I will fill this entire book and ten more pouring my heart out about Dem.
