Heafoc must be wonderin' why I'm walkin'. It's a long walk to Napgrove, too long a walk to make startin' this late when the stars is already comin' out.
The stars. Am I ever goin' to be able to look up at the stars again? That rooftop, the barn, back in Marton, I spent so many nights on, lookin' up at 'em. It's gone. Burned. Gone.
That's what Adriellyn said. Not like her to be wrong. And my aunts in Woodhurst said. I kept thinkin' must be no one thought to look, but I got to remember I'm a dolt, thicker'n a fallen Fangorn log. Tatswiþ wouldn't go decidin' it were done unless she was sure Ma -- Lithwyn -- were true dead. Not hidin' in a hidey-hole in the mountains. The aunts wouldn't rest until they had checked them all, and Leoffweard too. No hidey-hole we hid in as littles would escape his keen eye.
Heafoc prob'ly ain't wonderin'. He's smarter'n me easy. Wish he knew the Elf-spell that I learned in Lothlórien, could take away my hurt the way I can't take away his fear like I can take from other horses. Can't help wonder if'n the reason he stayed with me, when everyone looks at him and at me can tell he don't belong with a common fool, he bein' a prince amongst horses, is on account somehow he knew what were goin' to happen. Would Gladsunu been ridin' him to the battle where he fell, where they would both fell?
Would maybe the Thane been able to triumph, to save Marton, if'n he'd had Heafoc, if one of the princes of the Mearas weren't wasted on carryin' a common stable-keeper back and forth in the peaceful lands of Bree?
Prob'ly not, one horse wouldn't change such a thing, not even so noble a horse as Kestrel, but feels as if there must be somethin' as would've done. I keep thinkin' 'bout the lantern. Maybe I should kept lookin'. Maybe the Elves didn't know, maybe it were true out there somewhere and they just hadn't heard. Even the Elves don't know ever'thing there is to know, ain't seen ever'thing there is to see. Maybe if I'd found it, Prince Théodred would brung his éored to the Westfold, fought at the Isen's banks, saved Marton and ever'one else. Adri didn't tell me what come of Théodred, whether the curse is part of whatever happened. She couldn’t stay to find ever'thing out, not with war breakin' out, with the folk of the Westfold not yet killeded makin' for the Hornburg.
I got to remember, I need to bring bread home tomorrow, after I work. There's lots to do at the stable with all them horses of the Mark she brung in, horses she saved from -- that must be how she come to have them. Éogar will pay a pretty pile of silver for them, for his breeding stock. Pity Hathgar ain't amongst them. Not like Hathgar's a noble horse of the Mark, though. He's dumber'n me and near as lazy. He's…
He was nothing more'n a draught horse good for pullin' a plow or waggon, no more. By now gettin' up in years anyhow.
She said Leoffdan were still at the Hornburg, leastwise last as the aunts heard. They'll be there with him by now, and I'm sure he'll do the family proud fightin' to defend. Leoffweard too, if'n it come to't; he's a scout, not a warrior, but he knows what end of a spear to hold. I reckon Lithiva's husband prob'ly got hurt clearin' the way for her and the other women and children of Brockbridge to get to the Hornburg safe. He weren't no warrior neither, but any man of the Mark will take up a sword when the King calls a muster. Most the women too, if'n they got to.
By the stars, I can't let myself see the stone at the house. I carried it from Hookworth with such care. Now it's the only thing left of my home in Marton. A funeral stone.
I got to tell Lumina but I can't bear it. We ain't been married a fortnight yet. The poor girl don't need to hear somethin' so awful. When I first gave her the ring, she wouldn't take it. She said not until she met my family. Met my family! We was goin' for to go to the Mark. In fact, it were to be right about now, as spring comes, so the passes are open, that we'd've done gone. We'd've been goin' there right now, maybe to get caught up in whatever is happenin', if she hadn't changed her mind, took the ring after all.
I can't help wonder if I could made a difference somehow if I was there, but what could I do? I ain't no warrior, and one man can't make no matter against such a force as must been that felled Gladsunu and burned the mead-hall and killed near to ever'one in Marton, my family entire, all would mean is I'd be dead there alongside 'em if I had stayed, I'd prob'ly been the first to die. Then the stone would be for my funeral pile proper and true, only there'd be none to set it.
Aelfwyn… she were prob'ly with another little. It ain't right!
Poor Heafoc! I just almost hit him, I were so angry, and he don't deserve that. I shouldn't be around no one or nothin'. What if I hurt Lumina? But it's so wrong! How can things like this happen? How can it be? Why would folk do such things? Whatever hurts there was in the past, more hurts won't mend 'em!
Got to make sure Adri comes to meet Lumina some night soon. Wish she'd been able to be here for the wedding.
I can just keep walkin'. I got to ride, I got to be to work early, there's so much to do. I got to make sure the manure's in barrels, there's some new farm off past Combe somewhere Master Rosewood said wanted for to buy some. And I got to talk to Malhufel about that other Dunlending lass as Adri brung back, if I see her, and what was the other thing? I got to bring somethin' home.
Home. At least I got a home. Wish I'd brung my family up here where it's safe. Home. That's all I got.
One day soon there'll be a new family there, me and Lumina and our children. Lithiva and Leoffweard and Leoffdan and me, that's all's left to keep the family from bein' done for and gone. The Mark will survive. The Hornburg ain't never fell and it won't fall now. The King will make it right, and them as done this will burn, they'll feed crows, their blood will make the grass green, good pasturage for the sheep.
It's prob'ly already happened. It's all been done. Even if there were anythin' I could change it's past the changin'.
Bread, that's what it were. I got to get bread tomorrow. Don't forget, dolt. Bread.
