I had drifted off to sleep. Yet I cannot sleep again tonight, I had the nightmare once again. The day I lost what I thought was my last time of happiness. It was the day Caliko returned too Bree after I thought he had died on that cliff. I was skeptical at first but he proved to really be changing, I couldn't of been so wrong. Gwaed hadn't been around for a few weeks, perhaps she was just spending time with her newly found half sister I suppose. I waited for her at the pony as I usually do but she didn't return. I went to her home, knocked but no answer, I left flowers as I usually do. I get my recommendations from the little one, Amanda. That was when she was first following me around, seeking whatever comfort she could. I figured I’d put her to use. I went to find Caliko, he hadn't been around and I was getting a gut feeling something was wrong.
I found him finally in some ruins north of Bree. He turned to me, I expected a joke or something of the smart ass nature but..his eyes were cold, he rolled up his sleeve, showing me the branding of a great eye on his forearm..he asked to see mine. I remembered when I had found him in Angmar, after I was banished trying to find some sort of relief to my heavy heart. I had seen all my friends die on that journey, all the friends from our old adventures. I remembered how I swore my service to free him and yet after all the slaughter, he denied the release himself. Leaving me to rot in the cell and be tortured. Until he finally released me, telling me to just leave. I felt worthless that day. I rolled my sleeve up to show him. He stared at the mark with his emotionless gaze, I asked why..he shook his head and shrugged at me. He then told me how he knows his destiny, he can't change it. What did he mean? I suddenly came to the realization myself, why he was back in Bree. He said he was a killer and nothing more, an instrument of the enemy. I pleaded with him to fight it and stay. Then he reached in his bag and tossed out a dress, one that was bloody and torn and resembled Gwaeds. I went cold, I felt my head rush and my eye felt like ice. I couldn't stand, I lost all strength. I picked up the dress and looked at him. He explained she stood in his way, he did what he needed to. How could he says such? They loved eachother at some point. He told me that he would now begin his killings in Bree, he did not care what I thought or did. He grinned at me saying he would start with that little girl who keeps following me. Suddenly I felt the coldness become heat, my ears burned, I went from the empty, sorrow to a feeling of absolute rage. I would not let him do this, I need to protect this place. This sanctuary we found, away from the troubles of home. It was special to us and I cannot let him destroy it. He turned full to me and drew his swords, he said I was an enemy now, that I was not on his side. I drew my blade, I didn't respond I just attacked. After some fighting, he got me good in the ribs, I stepped back and he kicked toward my leg but I stepped back and as he lost his balance, I saw my brief opening and I managed to plunge my blade into his stomach.. he smiled at me. I looked down, I couldn't hold back my tears. I slowly lowered him to the ground. He told me he could be free. That he can finally feel no more pain. He told me how sorry he was, that he wished he could of been a better brother to me, that he loved me more than life itself. He touched my chest and told me that he was glad I would fight so hard for this place and that I needed to protect Bree and it’s people, to promise him that. I promised but I begged him to hang on and scrambled to get my medical box. I apologized as I cried but he had already slipped away. I screamed at the top of my lungs and held his body. Soon, I lifted him and grabbed the dress. I carried him closer to town and buried him by a tree, the I buried the dress. I marked the graves, I couldn't find Gwaeds body..but Caliko wouldn’t lie about that. I sat by the graves, I felt my heart ache. Thought of what did I do to deserve this? I am forsaken, cursed to a life where I am not allowed to have happiness. I looked to my blade, the same one Caliko had left for me in Dol Amroth. I thought of just ending it there, laying to rest next to the two closet people in my life. I can't be thinking of that though, I thought I was forsaken but I could still fight, I wouldn’t let anyone feel the pain I did.
I really thought I was beyond hope and who knows. I may still be. But I have something worth living for. I promised him I would protect Bree and the people but peruhaps knowingly, he put this burden on me because he knew I could handle it. Perhaps he knew I would find a purpose and find a life once again, if I surrounded myself with people like I have met. Caliko’s last kindness he placed on me. I thought that I lost all chance of happiness but I maybe wrong.
