I've received a letter from miss Blackburrow and what it contains both confuses and worries me. She claims that people have warned her that the seeds I provided are dangerous and now puts blame my way, saying I didn't warn her.
It's an odd claim to make, and I cannot help but wonder, who has filled her mind with such an idea. If she is sick, then I have my answer on why her stomach was upset when she visited me. There can be no other explanation if she's suffering now.
I'll have to speak with master Maddoct on the matter, seeing that the woman is in his care. Will have to ask him about the dose she's been given and make him aware what may follow now that I know. I don't believe Maddoct would give her the wrong dose or instruct her poorly; he has more experience than I.
The letter does confuse me, and I've yet to understand why it was sent. Is it to simply blame me? She makes mention of these 'others' that warned her and now are with her and watch over. Strange information to share, given it, had little to do with her condition and brings up the question of why she didn't speak with master Maddoct, as he is her physician. It does bring relief to know she's being watched over.
I spoke of my troubles to a few who I shared company with. It's been suggested that the woman may be playing me for a fool, and others as well that she has spun a lie about the whole matter for pity, attention or both. One wondered if she had laid with another while I was away, and this was her means to hide it. I dismissed this; she does not appear to be a person who would do either. Then again, I've been wrong before when it comes to people.
I can't read them and place blind faith in most. Miss Sol managed to make a fool of me; she has admitted this. While I've not turned away her company, I find myself less trusting and questioning things more often than I'm used to. I've given her the work she's asked for. She'll care for the establishment and cook when it's needed. I have that off my mind now.
Miss Ruevir has shown great interest in the books I've given her. I continue to worry that she may do something to my old notes. I've put trust in her with them. So far, she's treated them with care and has studied, she asks questions, and she wants to learn more. Her interest is not far from my own when I was learning, and I've begun to see another side of the woman. She's on a better path; it's a start.
I've sent a letter to the undertaker regarding a body he might be willing and able to lend me for a day or two. Miss Ruevir tells me she remembers in pictures, and while illustrations within books are helpful, she and I believe she'd learn far more with a real body.
If mister Berengar and miss Cedwyn go through with the idea of pig keeping, then perhaps I may be able to make a deal with them, to have one for study. To show her the workings of the insides while the animal still breathes. Think she'd be interested and it would teach her much more than any book, it expanded my knowledge greatly.
I don't know if I should answer miss Blackburrow or not, I'll consult with master Maddoct before making any choice regarding such. For now, I shall go through father's notes, regarding pains and other uncomforts when it comes to the seeds, and the loss that follows when a woman is with child.
