No backing down

I’ve finally atleast gotten somewhat settled down in Bree after leaving the North. I make sure to check on the people occasionally I helped, make sure they are safe. I had them stay in a camp with my brothers most trusted friend, Aghir. I stopped by there to have my wounds treated somewhat, I saw Mia. She barely looked at me, probably rathered I died. Aghir tells me she will understand when she gets older but I don’t even know if I wish her to understand. Easier for her to just hate me and avoid the hurt. Aghir also mentioned she wanted to go to Dol Amroth and meet her grand parents, I told him over my dead body. They would use her to no end for their own political gain and attention. They won’t hurt my niece the way they hurt her father. After I was treated I didn’t stay too long, I made my way back to Bree. I was on edge, having nightmares and not sleeping. Didn’t help that I was stitched up in many places, I worried if I had to then I wouldn’t of been able to protect anyone. Everyone stayed the same as I remembered them, Amanda still a spit fire. She has been much more rebellious lately, most likely because of my absence. She tells me often I need to stay out of her affairs, sadly she doesn’t get that option. I won’t let her deal with any hardship alone like I had to. She stills gets into trouble, one being a grave tender striking her at the graveyard, reasons unknown. I didn’t bother to find out why he did so, I only saw red and anger. Unfortunately I didn’t control myself I should have, I murdered the man. What bothered me the most about that, is I feel nothing from it. I feel no regret or remorse, just numbness. My next problem came when I decided to let my guard down and meet a woman named Ynna who decided to drug me and take me hostage. Sadly she was accompanied by a woman who I thought Was a trustworthy person for the most part. Ithey suspected me if Brie gets a soy sent to turn Drubainess in to Gondor. Of course there interrelation went no where and I noticed them finally giving up. The demanded my story and asked more of me than I wished to share but I feel they were both just scared in the end. They did not truly wish to kill me, but I was prepared if they did. They decided to just leave me tied up, from that I learned I can’t let my hard down anymore. They scattered my belongings, luckily my journal was left in one piece, except for the sketch of Mia I had, I had to search for that and I would never of stopped until I found it, it was just in a bush. I figured Amanda would settle down after that, until I heard about an incident where she decided to try and interfere in a scrap, she grabbed the mans arm and he struck her in the face. Bruised her up pretty good, and yet again I saw red. This man however from what I have gathered is not a man acting alone. Amanda also told me that Brandilyn had shown him the farm, this is the first time I have ever been angry at that woman. I wanted to unleash my rage on her, demand why she thought she would show a stranger the farm like that, where she lived and Amanda lived. After I calmed, I knew Brandilyn had no idea she was doing wrong, I could of understood. I tend to forget occasionally that the people of this land aren’t used to such organized Criminals. I reached out to Dem for some help on finding out more on this man, last thing I need was to make an idiotic mistake and end up dead and solving nothing. Dem also wished to help me with my nightmares and pain I was feeling, my coldness and attitude. I don’t need his help though, how I am I realize is how I must be to protect others and myself. Doing what must be done and doing the things that others can’t and stopping myself from feeling the pain of loosing someone else in my life. I must keep doing what I can, which is all I can do. As for this man I am researching..I am finding out that this is not just some small brigand group, Taragen a boy who rescued me informed me that if I do peruse them, I will die. It won’t deture me however.