For the best

Decided to spend the night by the graves, didn’t feel like much for conversation at the farm. Nowadays I feel like I have a limit to how much I like to talk to people..perhaps Miss Sareva is right, I am a stone wall. Miss Sareva and a new woman accompanied me at the fire, they playfully teased me about being a bard who’d sing a dirge, also saying I needed light in my life. I then showed them the sketch of Mia, my most prized possession now. They commented on He beauty and rightfully so. Then I informed them on how I would not be with her as she grew up, it was not the favorite thing to say, which is also rightfully so. I am not her last family member..if mother and father ever found out she existed, they’d be after her to either kill her or take her and make her their heiress. Over my dead body will they have anything to do with the daughter of the son they Discarded so easily. I wonder sometimes what it be like if I did stay with her or if I took her with me. But I can only see sadness from it, how do you look at the man who killed your father? Let alone live with him willingly. My work is too dangerous as well, if something was to happen to me while she was dependent then she’d be truly alone. I trust Aghir and the others to watch over her as they already have. I wish I could help her and be with her..but I cannot. All I can hope now is that she will grow up to be successful and not follow my path or my brothers. For now, I will keep My wall, for it not only keeps me from feeling the pain I have already, I help others by not hurting them. Am I miserable? Do I pity myself? Never. I never do, what I have done in my life has been my fault, I will deal with it. There is no use in selfpity or crying or moping about the past. Only taking action will be my salvation, doing the right thing. The pain may never go away but as long as someone else doesn’t have to feel it, I have done my job.