*Trigger warnings as per.*
~
Downtime.
Ashaia needed downtime.
She needed to be alone. Away from the world and it's harshness. Consumed in a quiet that could not quite reach a comfortable silence thanks to the occasional drips of bathwater as she readjusted the position of her knees. Bare arms slunk over the wooden sides of the tub, eyes closed and lashes wet. A swirl of thoughts to accompany the serene ripples of the soapy suds.
Distant movement and muffled chatter lay beyond in the next room over. The source - her family. For them, all was well. Aware yet apprehensive of Ashaia's reclusive actions. As of quite recently, she was always alone. Sometimes literally, sometimes at the dining table where she sat at the opposing head in silence. Toying with food that nauseated her.
Raven-hair drenched and sticking to the back of her neck, Ashaia lowered further into the water. So low in fact that her ears had dunked and began to fill, muffling the sound of the surrounding vicinity to dull, basic tones.
In that moment of what felt like floating, nothing seemed to matter but the water. Acting as a safe haven. A warm, protective shell which felt like silk to the touch. Scented in lavender, caressing the contours of an underfed form littered in the marks of her daughter's original arrival.
The inside blackness of her eyelids were windows into the recollections of memories. Both bittersweet and hurtful. Lust-filled and longing. Passionate. Upsetting. Tears made no difference to her complexion, simply intermingling with the bathwater as they slipped from the small ducts at each corner.
In a second she had descended beneath the surface smoothly, a breath bubbling out and silently popping back into the oxygen above. Ashaia lay underneath the sheet of water for several long seconds. Safe, warm. Fully protected and most importantly - alone.
Herself was the sweetest company when no one else understood. They could not get the feelings that made her bandaged heart want to burst out of her chest, or the chaos of thoughts which hammered at her mind unrelentingly. The hurt that could be so expertly concealed in a vague smile or behind the thick pages of a book. The misty eyes that reflected an indescribable defeat.
Guilt.
Loss.
"Ash!"
The shout of Brienne's voice startled her back into reality before her lungs could begin to burn her into unconsciousness. Hands clawing at the sides of the bathtub as she resurfaced above the water. Choking initially before heaving a generous lungful of oxygen and prising her eyes open.
From sensory deprivation to a sudden shock as cold air tingled her skin and life entered her lungs.
