A dwarf knocked on the door, three loud bangs.
"Maiden Ynel, an urgent letter of the The Longbeard Engineering Corps.... Conditions of Service!" he said in a hurry, "Master Kandral expects word from you at your earliest convenience!".
As soon as Ynel opened the door the thick scroll was pushed into her hands and before she could say anything the dwarf was off again.
She opened the scroll and gazed upon the tiny yet carefully scribed letters of a scroll that seemed to go on forever... it read:
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1. Conditions
Agreed hereto, freely and under neither duress nor force nor coercion
nor extortion nor threat to life and/or limb, and superseding any prior
contract, agreement or undertaking, survivable clauses notwithstanding, signed and witnessed below, as set forth hereunder:
{fine print}: And as appended to from time to time at the sole discretion of Kandral Stonebeard, with all new material being read as if originally included herein.
2. The Longbeard Engineering Corps (hereinafter known as 'The Corps'), with final approval by The Brotherhood of Stone, contract to design, build, transport and erect a meat grinding machine for Ynel of Bree (hereinafter known as 'The Contractor')
The machine will be build in Othrikar by The Corps, using the superior Dwarven forges in that mining town. The time to building completion is estimated at one [1] complete moon cycle.
The path from Othrikar to Bree, for transporting the finished meat grinder, to be determined by Kandral Strongbeard, who has a right to alter the course of the journey at his so choosing, without prior notification and/or liability for accident or injury incurred.
3. The aforementioned Service shall proceed in a timely manner and with all due care and consideration as seen fit by said Kandral Strongbeard and The Corps.
The Contractor shall first provide Kandral Strongbeard with a detailed personal financial statement, covering the last 10 years from the last moon, as provided by the First Stone Quarter Bank of Bree, before any service is provided by The Corps.
4. The Contractor holds harmless and without blame in perpetuity The Corps and its successors for any notoriety, incarceration, or proceedings brought against, in regard to, or as a result of this meat grinding machine or any activities related thereto.
{fine print}: Also includes slander, libel, loss of face or of social standing in country of The Contractor's origin.
{fine print}: Remedies shall similarly not be sought for any unlooked for misfortune, loss of limbs, or any other unfortunate circumstance or condition befalling The Contractor's home, family, friends or acquaintances during her absence while inspecting, discussing, or in any way having dealings with the meat grinding machine.
5. Payment
Subsection A -
Payment shall be provided in the amount of 4 gold pieces & 270 silvers (which it may exceed but never fall short of) and at the times stipulated (see the paragraph immediately below), in either
a) verified, weighed and minted gold and silver coins (as accepted by the First Stone Quarter Bank of Bree)
b) Mithril (upon inspection for grade of purity by an official representative of the Durin's Folk Trading Company)
c) precious gems (upon inspection for grade of clarity by an official representative of the Ereborian Jewellers Guild).
The amounts to be paid to Gothin Mithriltooth (or his official representatives), official Durin's Folk Vault accountant and representative at the First Stone Quarter Bank of Bree.
{left margin}: The security of the transaction and storage of said payment will be at the sole responsibility of The Contractor (including the safety of Master Mithriltooth, and his representatives, and the vault of the First Stone Quarter Bank of Bree). Any accidents, fraud, misappropriations, misuse, theft, abstractions, appropriations, defalcations, misapplications or misfortunes befalling the transaction or safe storage of the amount (including but not limited too such acts as caused by forces of nature) shall be at the expense of The Contractor.
One-half of the agreed upon sum (to whit: 2 gold pieces & 135 silvers) will be due before construction begins, to cover any and all materials required for construction, transport and erection of the meat grinding machine.
The remainder of the sum (2 gold pieces & 135 silvers to be paid upon erection in Bree.
Engineers: 6 engineers for 28 days = 840 silvers
Materials and treatment of materials: 3 gold pieces (breakdown of materials below)
Guarding of The Corps and the grinder during construction and the journey from Othrikar to Bree: 400 silvers
Erection and testing of the machine: 30 silvers
Materials
150 ingots of Dwarven steel and 300 planks of lebethron wood
Prices calculated thusly: 100 silvers per ingot = 1 gold 500 silvers
50 silvers per plank, to include treatment of the wood by the elves of Meluinen in the North-Downs = 1 gold 500 silvers
Subsection B -
The Contractor will provide and equip an adequate* guard force to deal with any animals, orcs, goblins, trolls, wargs, hostile Men, animal companions, ensorcelled beasts, or any other danger during fabrication of the meat grinder in Othrikar, and during the journey to transport the meat grinder from Othrikar to Bree.
* the exact number of guards to be determined by Kandral Strongbeard or his officers
* the fee expected for guards detailed above at 400 silvers
The remaining half of the agreed upon sum will be due once final testing of the meat grinding machine has been completed and is found to be satisfactory to both Parties.
Subsection C -
Upon erection of the grinder, a test grinding for quality will be carried out. The Contractor will pay for 2 pigs and a butcher from Othrikar so The Corps can guarantee the quality of the test meat, which test meat will then be given to The Corps for personal assessment in a sausage recipe of their choice, in addition to any victuals already agreed upon.
{fine print}: Including any of the gross paid to other parties in lieu of royalties or help and provisions given or loaned.
{fine print}:…shall include a condition similar to this condition, notwithstanding any repetition, redundancy, over-statement or implication hereby recognized or disclosed.
{left margin}: Any and all damages brought against The Corps by third parties, whether during the course of constructing, transporting or erecting the meat grinding machine or subsequent to it, shall be bourne by The Contractor.
6. All travelling expenses guaranteed in any event.
{fine print}: But refer to attached and appended conditions, clauses and riders regarding any Return Journey home by The Corps
7. Funeral expenses to be defrayed by the Contractor if occasion arises, and the matter is not otherwise arranged for.
{right margin}: Transport of any remains, in whole or in part, back to Thorin's Hall is included.
{fine print}: A plaque shall be erected in Bree and dedicated in The Corps’ honour if any member meets an untimely end in attempting this service.
{fine print}: Material size and location of such a plaque is to be decided at Kandral Strongbeard’s sole whim and desire.
8. The Contractor shall devise means and methods to circumvent any difficulties arising from any illegal or illicit occupation or guardianship of The Corps' rightful home and property in Thorin's Gate. Successful disposal of any such guardian, creature or squatter in said home shall not necessarily earn any royal gratitude (in verbal form or otherwise).
9. Eviction or elimination of any undesirable guardian of The Corps’
property, goods or premises or holdings, shall take priority over the recovery of said property, goods, premises or holdings, should such a guardian be encountered. Elimination shall take priority over eviction in any and all cases.
{fine print}: Unequal relative stature of The Contractor or her guards and any discovered hostile guardian, occupier or squatter shall not constitute or be considered as grounds for refusal nor excuse against undertaking the forceful removal of said undesirable guest.
10. The Corps hereby accepts, warrants, and undertakes responsibility for their own boots, clothing and personal effects for the duration of the service.
Upon arrival of The Corps of Durin's Folk in Bree The Contractor shall provide a generous welcoming at the establishment run by master Butterbur (aka "The Prancing Pony"), where nourishment (in liquid and solid form alike) and recreational services (not limited to pipeweed) shall be provided and disbursed at the full expense of the Contractor, to be consumed unbound by The Corps.
11. Meals to be provided in Othrikar, on the road, and in The Prancing Pony will be provided as part of this contract, at The Corps' pleasure, need or desire, at any time of the day or night.
{fine print}: ‘Meals’ here shall refer to and shall not be restricted to breakfast, second breakfast, morning and afternoon tea, luncheon, evening dinner and late supper. The Corps has the right to inspect and question said nourishment at any time and insist on replacement for superior product if found to be below the standards expected and/or deserved.
{fine print}: The Corps is prepared to sample any and all wines, ales, beers, and meads made or stocked in Bree; in short, any beverages of a non-perishable nature, and if found acceptable, to transport such beverages at The Contractor's expense and for The Corps' consumption at any location of their choosing.
{left margin}: Pipeweed and other such luxury items, including recreational services offered by said establishments or private persons, shall be provided by The Contractor.
At any time during the effect of the contract period The Corps is allowed visitation of family, clan, friends and acquaintances; at the sole discretion and without limitation of the Corps. In such eventualities the Contractor shall ensure lodging, food and pocket expenses for said visitation.
12. The Principles agreeing to this contract, namely The Corps [as
represented by Kandral Strongbeard] and The Contractor [as represented by Ynel, Barmaid of Bree], and known collectively henceforth as the Parties, shall signify their agreement to all clauses
contained herein [the Conditions of Engagement] by signing or making their marks in the spaces provided for so doing, and affixing seals if applicable.
The Witnesses to this Contract, being those others whose signatures, marks or seals are affixed hereto, affirm, state, and declare their understanding and unbiased agreement to all that is contained herein.
{fine print}: Conditions subsequently appended or added to this Contract are automatically assumed to be agreed upon as if they were present, read and understood at the signing and witnessing hereof.
13. Confidentiality is of utmost importance and must be strictly
maintained at all times. During the course of her contract with The Corps, The Contractor will hear, see, learn, apprehend, comprehend, and, in short, gain knowledge of particular facts, ideas, plans, strategies, theories, geography, cartography, iconography, means, tactics and/or policies, whether actual, tangible, conceptual, historical or fanciful. The Contractor undertakes and agrees to maintain this knowledge in utmost secrecy and confidentiality and to neither divulge nor make known said knowledge by any means, including but not limited to speech, writing, demonstration, re-enactment, mime, or storage and retrieval within means or apparatus currently known or unknown, or as yet unthought of. The Contractor further agrees never to make use of any knowledge so fraudulently or by other means obtained to construct such a machine, whether for use, rent or sale, display in a museum, hold in abeyance for future generations, or any other use.
{fine print}: The Corps may modify or adjust this Agreement from time to time at its sole discretion, with or without notice to The Contractor.
{Left side margin}: The Witnesses shall be nominated, chosen, and selected by Kandral Strongbeard, and no correspondence on the matter will be entered into.
14. Early termination of this Contract shall attract an early termination fee to be determined by Kandral Strongbeard at his sole and absolute discretion. All clauses contained herein shall survive such termination and remain enforceable in all realms, kingdoms, regions and/or independent towns whether existing now or in the future, throughout the known world.
{fine print}: Each of the Parties severally represents, warrants, and covenants, that the Party possesses the ability and right to enter into this Agreement and fulfill the obligations set forth herein, and has not made any commitment with respect to the matters here discussed that are in conflict with this Agreement.
{right side margin}: The Contractor may not modify or change the Agreement except by a writing signed by both Parties.
15. Disputes arising between the Contract Parties shall be heard and
judged by an arbitrator of the Corp’s choosing.
16. In the event of a dispute arising in relation to the terms of this
agreement, the non-prevailing party shall reimburse the prevailing party for all reasonable fees and costs resulting therefrom.
{fine print}: Let the present instrument be cancelled if The Contractor refrains from asking or exacting payments of the aforesaid amounts of money or goods for the space of one year after the time limit has elapsed for asking or obtaining the payment.
17. If any provision of this Contract is held unenforceable then such
provision shall be modified to reflect the parties’ intention. All remaining provisions of this Contract shall remain in full force and effect.
{fine print}: If two or more provisions of this Contract conflict, The Corps shall decide which shall take precedence.
{fine print}: The Contractor agrees to execute all papers and to perform such other acts as The Corps may deem necessary to secure for The Corps or its designee the rights herein assigned.
{right side margin}: Modified conditions are fully enforceable
and carry no less weight than any unmodified conditions contained herein.
18. The failure by one party to require performance of any provision
herein shall not affect the party’s right to require performance at any
time thereafter, nor shall a waiver of any breach or default of the Contract constitute a waiver of any subsequent breach or default or a waiver of the provision itself.
19. Wherefore each of the parties agree that any action in relation
to an alleged breach of this Agreement shall be commenced within one
year of the date of the breach, without regard to the date the breach is discovered. Any action not brought within that one [1] year time period shall be barred, without regard to any other limitations period set forth herein.
{fine print}: Breaches of any provision or provisions of this Contract by either Party shall be heard, pleaded, debated, defended, answered, and judged in a country of the Corps' choosing, and at a time and date of the Corps' choosing. The Contractor failure to appear constitutes acquiescence with the Corps’ ruling on the matter.
20. All conditions imposed herein are deemed to survive loss or
destruction of this document whether by accidental or willful mishap, fair means or foul, and any reconstruction, re-wording, up-dating, or improvements or additions made shall include a condition similar to this condition, notwithstanding any repetition, redundancy, overstatement or implication hereby recognised or disclosed.
{right margin}: Lanterns, lamps, torches, and any other equipment considered a fire risk shall be lit and operated by the fire safety officer nominated by the Corps.
{fine print}: The Contractor will provide funds to cover the purchase and repair of all tools and rudimentary equipment as required to fulfill The Corps' duty, to be determined at the sole discretion of Kandral Strongbeard, and subject to change without notification.
{fine print}: personal armour, mail, shields, vambraces, helmets and the like shall be furnished by The Corps.
{fine print}: All provision, expenses, and necessities for the return Journey to Thorin's Hall shall be sourced, found and paid for by The Contractor. Provision of Transport for the Corps and/or portage of their goods is included herein.
At any time during the effect of the contract period the Corps is allowed the usage of a quick post letter service (by raven or similar mode of transport), not limited to any destination. In such eventualities the Contractor shall ensure said services within a period of one [1] day from the request of The Corp.
If, however, The Contractor does not make good on payment herein set forth, The Contractor becomes liable for the whole amount, to give to The Corps, making the stipulation, the penalty of the double of the said amount, the aforesaid conditions remaining as settled. Furthermore, The Contractor pledges to The Corps as security for the aforesaid promises all her goods existing and future.
21. Visiting, inspecting, or operating the meat grinder at any stage of its construction, transport, erection or subsequent use is undertaken entirely at The Contractor's own risk. The Corps shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to, lacerations, evisceration, incineration.
22. Each of the Parties Severally represents, warrants, and covenants that the party possesses the ability and right to enter into this Agreement and fulfill the conditions set forth herein, and has not made any commitment with respect to the matters here discussed, that are in conflict with this Agreement.
{fine print}: In the event of a dispute arising in relation to the terms of this agreement, the non-prevailing party shall reimburse the prevailing party for all reasonable fees and costs resulting therefrom.
23. This agreement does not obligate the Corps to undertake further business in any future undertakings.
{fine print}: Each of the Parties to this Contract severally shall take all steps, execute all documents, and do everything required by the other party to give effect to any of the transactions contemplated by this Contract.
24. The Corps retains any and all rights to recover any consequential, incidental and/or punitive damages.
25. Remedies shall be sought for any unlooked-for misfortune befalling The Corps' dwellings during their absence.
{fine print}: Damages shall similarly be sought as a compensation for temporary or permanent disability suffered as a consequence of building, transporting, or erecting the meat grinding machine.
26. If any part of the Contract is found to be invalid, the remainder of the Contract will continue in full force and effect as if the defective and invalid provision or clause or condition had been deleted, provided that the Parties to this Contract are entitled to negotiate a valid and enforceable provision in replacement of the invalid provision.
{vertical fine print}: The Contractor shall be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained to The Corps as a consequence thereof; including, but not limited to lacerations, evisceration, incineration.
27. The Corps is in all respects an independent body, and not an employee, partner, or joint venturer or subsidiary of The Contractor and is not entitled to pledge the credit of the Corps. The Corps agrees that at no stage during or subsequent to the Termination of this Agreement will the Corps claim that they are or were an employee of The Contractor.
28. The Corp may terminate this Contract for any reason or for no reason by giving one [1] day’s notice to The Contractor. Such termination will take effect upon the expiry of the notice period. The Corp reserves the right to summarily terminate this Contract immediately upon notice or without notice at any time for any serious breach of the provisions contained herein by The Contractor.
29. The Contractor may not modify or change this Contract in any way except by a writing signed and agreed by both Parties hereto.
{fine print}: All conditions imposed herein are deemed to survive loss or destruction of this Document, whether by accidental or wilful mishap, and any reconstruction, re-wording, updating or improvements for additions made
{right vertical bar}: This agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the parties, and replaces and supersedes all prior understandings and agreements whether written or oral, with respect to the subject matter described and set forth herein.
Signed: Kandral son of Kundrin, Lord of the Kinship of Durin's Folk
Witnessed: _____________________
The Contractor: _____________________
