It hurts

​"Keep on moving Cassie girl." He always used to say that. Because the sun would rise every morning to the beginning of a new day. If only I could tell Da I loved him one last time. We had a fight just before he went to greener pastures, he started saying I lacked one thing and that was ambition. He wanted me to become a suitable girl in 'society'. Said tailoring would be a good start for me, sewing and patching clothes. Then settling down with a lad of his choosing, since Bradien got cold feet. Now apparently it was up to Da to find a man for me. Then there he was outside the North Gate a messy heap.  A single steel dagger near his limp body and a cracked bottle of brandy.  Did I cause this? Did Da find such anguish that he couldn't move on anymore? Ma came into town only once or twice to see me and they were fighting before he disappeared that same day. Gods I'll never forget all the blood, the blood on his favorite plaid shirt. He smelled like rum and the forge still and he had soot all over his hands.  Hard to believe this was only a month ago; it feels like he has been gone for ages. What am I going to do now? Keep moving like he wanted. I guess that's all I can do. Keep moving and keep waking up every morning. Wherever you are papa, I hope you're still watching me.