Balisan sat at the table in the scriptorium of the Order. He read through the parchment as he had done so many times, looking for nothing in particular but anything that would be helpful. He smiled to himself, thinking of how much he enjoyed this time alone, in which he could study and be completely at peace with himself and the world. Though of course the world was not at peace. Nevertheless, it was these moment he cherished most. He sipped from the herbal tea he had made earlier and placed the parchment he just studied on a large pile next to the table before he took out a new one.
A sense of change in the air of the room made him look up and before him stood Iaurmenel, who had entered the room without a sound as she had done so often. His heart calmed at her sight and he smiled at her face. As he began talking about his latest discoveries, the air changed again, and in front of his eyes, Iaurmenel’s face shifted into a horrible grimace. Her eyes, as if melting, narrowed and dropped down onto her cheeks, while her mouth opened grotesquely wide. Her unnaturally long tongue left a mouth full of razor sharp rows of teeth and was itself split like that of a reptile, reaching for him as Balisan backed away. As he looked at her in disbelief and fear, her arms turned into dark wings with long, sharp claws for hands. All he could feel next was the deep pain, as the claws ripped into his body, opening up a cleaving wound. Balisan looked down on himself, seeing his body slashed open. As he turned back to Iaurmenel with his final strength, she had turned back into her old self. His lips formed the word “Why”, while he looked into her smiling face. The last thing he heard was the childish sound of her hysterical laughter as his mind slipped into darkness.
He woke up in a bed of soft linen and the sun shining through the window, brightening the entire room. He turned his head around and recognised the room as the bedchamber in which he had stayed in Rivendell so long ago. His first impulse was to throw the blanket off of him and look down on his naked upper body. No scars except for the few sword and cut wounds he had suffered over the course of the years. He exhaled in visible relief and swung himself out of bed. As he left the pavilion he looked upon the valley of Imladris.
But instead of walking towards it he turned and walked through the high grass towards the sun that warmed his face. In front of him he saw a merry gathering of his friends and family, celebrating around a long table. In the distance, he could see the safe walls of his forefather’s castle at the shores of Belfalas, and taste the salty air of the sea. Nothing seemed amiss and a slight hint of calm and happiness filled his heart, just to be surrounded by fear and doubt. As he turned to walk towards the gathering at the table and join the laughter, the world around him became a blur. The colours shifted from the bright red, yellow and blue to a grim grey as the brightness of the world was swallowed and dark clouds rose on the horizon, swiftly moving towards him. The company in the distance did not seem to notice.
In an instant the grass turned into snakes that jabbed at him, biting into his arms and legs. More and more would turn towards him, sliding up his body, covering him entirely with only his face being free. Breathing became more and more difficult as the sun turned turn into a ball of fire, growing nearer and nearer. Its heat brought a searing pain as his skin on his face felt aflame itself. From the earth beasts of a long forgotten time emerged in the distance, ripping through friends and family, with Balisan standing immovable, bound to watch the fate of the others. He tried to scream, to warn them, but as he opened his mouth no sound came, and the snakes slid into his throat until all breathing seemed to end. He battled the sense of gagging, trying desperately to free himself, to get that one breath of air into his lungs, to grab his sword and fight. And yet all that came was the huge, unbearable sense of nothing that seemed to swallow him whole.
Within the nothing, the world disappeared around him, and he found himself standing on the tower of the White City. In the distance he could see the darkness growing, yet the city remained enshrouded in light. He turned to see a girl standing in front of him. Though he recognised her face, he did not know her. She smiled at him comforting, with a sense of embarrassment.
“My Lord, it is time”, she said.
Balisan looked confused with wonder at her.
“Time for what?”, he replied.
She chuckled at that with a sweet, innocent laughter filled with the lightness of the world that only a child could have.
“To rise, of course.”
Balisan still did not understand, for he was standing. The girl simply laughed again and pointed into the distance towards the grim dark clouds that were forming above the tower that once was known as Minas Ithil.
“It is time”, she said, “so wake up, wake up!” Her voice suddenly finding the strength of a powerful woman instead of a little girl; a voice that seemed to be able to command the seas.
It was as if a curtain was lifting from Balisan’s heart, and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, his soul seemed to have thrown off all the shackles that had kept it imprisoned for so long. As if taking a first breath of life after one enters the world, Balisan’s mind ripped open and he could see everything clear, clearer than ever before.
He knew what he had to do.
*
In a moment of sheer awareness, he opened his eyes and stared onto the ceiling. A surprised voice next to him first low and with disbelief then louder and filled with excitement said “He is awake….he is awake!”.
He turned and looked deeply into Her eyes, as he managed a slight smile.
“Welcome back”, She said.
