So, here is a little story that happened to me recently. It was a fine, even pleasant evening. I has received a few letters from the Captain Larvud. He was asking me to accompany him and a few other recruits on the way to Brandywine River. Well, I couldn't lift my lazy butt off the bed! But finally I decided to move and check what's the matter. First I went to the Pony, it was in the afternoon. I checked the main room - empty. Then the hall - also empty. Everything is empty. Another sign for me to move on. I grabbed my bags, hanged them on my horse and started my way towards the west, along the road which led to Shire. It was already dusky but it didn't matter. Everything was peaceful and silent. Casual birds singing. Some folk on the road. Seems legit, right?
No no, not peaceful now. It's midnight and I am at the bridge. What I found really amused me. My captain, Toronhol and Folder were lying on the bridge, all tied up and motionless. And a small, dark guy was standing in front of them. He turned around and I see a familiar face. Oh! I see these nose! The Nasal! It's the Nasal, boys, I broke his nose a few days ago, it was in the Pony! I couldn't stop laughing. The scene itself looked so amusing. Two well trained Dunedain warrior and a fine mercenary lost against this prick! God that's hilarious. Well, I better stop laughing 'cause it is also supposed to be my report and the captain will read it. So yeah, let's continue. He turned around and looked at me. I tried to look away because I couldn't look at his nose. He had a small knife in his hands and a sly smirk on his face. And a big ugly dislocated nose. I should stop with headbutts, they really make people ugly. He started approaching me. No, he charged on me. I had a tough choice between my sword, two-bladed bow and work on him my way. Well, I struggled to choose a bit, but then it was too late, so I had to do it my way. I prepared my fists. The fun is starting.
After about a minute he is lying on the ground, rolling down the bridge. He didn't even touch me. Poor guy. I accidently gave him another headbutt, which actually dislocated his nose to the other side so now it looks fine. I can fix people's faces, you know? Oh god, I can't stop laughing. I looked at the captain again. And at the company. I walked to them and and untied the ropes. Helped them to stand up and...I didn't even get paid. I saved their asses from the Nasal and they just said "Thank you". Like they had everything planned. Duh. At this point Nasal woke up from his beautiful sleep, I hope, and threw a knife at the captain, then ran away. Poor guy, he missed. Why would he be here? Didn't he know that I would come? Nasal is my constant customer. Buys free headbutts everytime we meet. Poor guy.
So at the end everyone was fine, I was still laughing, Larvud, Folder and Toronhol met their friend and I didn't want to go further as I needed to think about what happened and calm myself. I couldn't stop laughing. Still!
