Hearts Return - Interlude - Regret

Soon … soon …

The word echoed through Immalaine's head with the beating of her heart, as she lay and stared up at the ceiling in the darkness of her room. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn't sleep, and she stretched her limbs in an attempt to get comfortable. Even the haystacks she'd slept in when she arrived in Bree had been more accommodating than this bed.

Soon … Ceolfred would come. And Rastellion ...

Would he? Of course he would. She had to believe it.  

But the last time she'd seen him …

'go, Rastellion. Jus' … jus' go!' And he had left. She could still see the look on his face, the pain … he'd been so excited. 'The farm is yours! We can … together …' For a moment, she'd felt happier than she had in years. But that happiness had been shattered by her fear.

And her fear of Sallastin's threats, her fear of what Rastellion would think of her … she'd driven him away.

Tears slid down her cheeks, soaking into her hair. “Rastellion … don't go … please … I'm sorry! I love you ...” Her voice broke, as she choked. “I need you … we need you … I'm sorry ...”

Heavy footsteps paused, stopped outside the door and she froze, holding her breath, stilling her voice though she couldn't make herself stop crying. She shook, waiting, until the footsteps resumed … growing fainter until she could no longer hear them.

She turned over, burying her face in her pillow, giving in to despair. Muffled by the cloth and feathers, she sobbed, the bed beneath her vibrating with her pain, with the pain she had caused him. If she was freed … no, not if, when … when ...

Her shaking slowed, then finally stopped; her breathing grew steady as sleep overtook her misery. In her sleep, her heart beat, echoing the hope that kept her going.

Soon … soon ...