And so did her plans unveil, and her betrayal was made clear to me, in the most brutal, horrid way... She set me up. Helena, the one person I made the mistake to place my trust in, the queen of poisons, this monster of a woman, has managed to spin a web around me, while all the time feeding me with lies, with false promises, clouding both my vision and my judgement... Just like she has done to so many others before me... She guided my hand in slaying a kin, when there was no kin to be slayed. Only guards, disguised as nobles, playing roles, waiting for my move to fall on me. And so they did. They managed to catch me like they would catch rookie cutpurse... And as my sight blackened from a blow on my head, and my senses abandoned me, I saw her there, standing in front of me, laughing at me for my stupidity and my blindness...
When I opened my eyes again, I was in a cell. Not a normal prison cell but... Somewhere else. Such a place I have never seen before. Dark, damp, cold, with a stench of decayed flesh and clotted blood filling the air. Merely breathing in there was enough for one to suffer, yet my suffering consisted of so much more than that. How much time I passed in that catacomb, I know not. Days, weeks... Maybe a month. And always, always, the distant cries of despair, voices shouting, whispering, crying... Begging for death to come and end their tortures. Yet the voices did not cease. And soon, my voice joined them in this maddening place.
Physical torture was the least of what I endured. She would leave me without food nor water for days, before throwing in my cell a rotten, half-raw piece of meat, and a cup of marshwater... She had no intention of killing me, that much was obvious. She wanted me to crawl and suffer and beg, to break my will, to make me lose my sanity, my mind. Up to this day, I do not know her motives, her reasons of doing what she did to me, and to so many others, men and women alike. But where others perished, I managed to survive. I clinged on to thoughts of anger, hatred, and most of all revenge... That was the fuel that kept my heart pounding, that fortified my mind against her mental tortures. I was patiently waiting for the moment that I would extract my revenge on her. I did not hope for the time to come. I knew the time would come.
And so time passed, and still I remained there, determined to not let myself despair. For despair is what she wanted to see in my eyes, however, each time she looked at them, she was only greeted by a deeply burning flame. I sustained my anger, my rage, only focusing on keeping my mind strong. The voices were getting fewer as time passed, and in the end, there was only silence. A complete, unbreakable silence, surrounding my whole existence. It was talking to myself that saved me from it's maddening grip. I started speaking with myself, hesitantly at first, though as days passed on, it became an essential, and quite worthy activity. Long since I had stopped feeding hopes of escape. It was only me now, in what seemed to be a world of silence and death.
The thoughts I made in there, both silent and loud, are still with me even now. Thoughts unspoken to anyone, thoughts of bloody revenge, countless possible ways to end her life, to make her suffer... And those thoughts kept me company, and made me smile, and even laugh loudly. Before this, I was becoming a monster. It was during my tortures though, that my fate was sealed, that any possible ways, for me to regret and atone for my crimes, were cut off. It was clear to me now... My last bits of humanity would die along with her. And it would be a most pleasurable killing.
Then, one day, I opened my eyes and found myself in another place. A place unknown, yet completely different from the last one. I was lying on a most comfortable bed, while the first rays of the dawning sun found their way through a window, warming my face. With a confused stare, I saw that I was in an elegant room, clearly one belonging to a wealthy mansion. For a mere fleeting moment, I allowed myself to believe that I have been trapped in a dream, in a nightmare, and that now, as the sun was rising, and darkness gave way to light, it was over. Then, my body started to ache. A most terrible pain, ripping my insides out in pieces. I shouted, I cried, I allowed all the suffering that I was holding inside of me for so long to burst out of my mouth. Then... After hours had passed, and I had no more strength to shout, and no more tears to shed, my eyes fell on a letter, neatly waiting to be read on a small desk beside my bed.
I reached out and grabbed the letter with a trembling hand, fearing what I would read. Was all this just part of my tortures? Did she put me in this comfortable place only to have it taken away from me, throwing me back in that forsaken cell? Thoughts like those raced through my mind. Yet when I laid my eyes on the letter, it felt like time stopped, and the world along with it. Written by her own hand, were only a few lines, which held more meaning than a whole library could hold. These words will never fade from my mind. The meaning of all her actions were such clearly depicted by them, that I felt a rush of contrary feelings overcoming me. Hate, love, passion, disgust, sadness, affection, anger... Each eliminating it's opposite, as my eyes read her words again and again and again... In the end though... Only apathy remained. A cold, lifeless apathy. There was one thing only that I had to do. And it was clearer now, than it ever was. She killed all I was, and buried all that made me human. Yet I would be the one who would place the tombstone over the grave. By my very hands. As long as she was still breathing, my humanity was kept alive. And it was a life it would shortly end.
''I stripped you of your fears, of your doubts, of your weaknesses... And in their place, I placed hate, anger, rage. I made you the monster you so long wished to become. This is my gift to you, my love. You have nothing holding you back now.''
[Originally written by the player of Crow (Derakoth)]
