I have done much talking over these last days, with Vaeshiva, Baradar and the other people of this tribe.
I have learned a lot of the lands and the peoples of it, which pleases me, for it is good to know ones roots, I feel, and the more I talk to her the more I come to believe that this woman whom I look so much alike truly is my mother.
I am still not certain what that means for me, but I hope I will do so soon. It does not change who I am, only where I came from and, in truth, my youth in Bree-land was never what one could call peaceful or pleasant anyway.
Some moments alone with Baradar had me recounting all that had happened since I left Bree. As I told the tale, certain things occured to me that had not done so before. Back then, I had been too shocked, too hurt, to think clearly and then I had recieved the missive that set my thoughts awhirl in a completely different direction. Something about my encounter with Drevorin did not add up.
Mother and I spoke of him as well. Somehow, she knows about him. I keep asking how, but all she will say is that the reach of Angmar is long. I wonder if they have been following, watching me at a distance or some such thing. She dislikes him greatly; referring to him as the Southern Snake and advising that I should "let him slither away". There was something, though, as we talked about him. We debated for a short time and she asked me why I so willingly walked into danger for that man when I could be safe. I asked her if it was not better to fight for what you love than simply give in and let it go; if you truly loved something, would you not do all in your power to see it safe and well?
Those words came back to haunt me during the night. I found myself wondering if that was what this was. Is he protecting me from something? Is he trying to save me? Is that the reason for his sudden shift in temprement, the reason for his betrayal and breaking of my heart? Is he trying, in the most insane way imaginable, to keep me safe?
Even if it is so, what does it matter? He still betrayed me. He still chose her. Better that I am here, then, for even after it all, if he came back to me I would have a hard time turning him away.
I found Davick hiding in one of the tents last night. He does not like this place and I can really not blame him. The people are strange to him, untrusting, and understandably so. The land is black and ravaged and the sky still makes me queasy if I look at it for too long. He seems more bothered about what might become of me out here, though, as if he fears what I must face in this barren realm.
I have asked him to stay long enough to meet my mother, for he doubts that it can be true. I hope that he shall see as I did when I introduce them; her features within me, only younger, thinner and more marred by the life I have led.
