I...hurt. Not physically...but...physically... I don't know how, I can't explain it, I just...hurt. I want to kill someone, I want to kill myself...? No, I just want to run away. I always end up back here, though. This is my home.
I stopped eating. I don't know why. I just don't want to eat anymore. I want to drink. I want to be drunk. I want to be so drunk I forget why I got drunk.
I want to be happy. Or I want to be sad. But what I'm sick of is this midway where I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.
I heard Am was back in town. I want to see her, but, I don't know that I want her to see me. I think I'll just stay here. It's...safe.
This is all my fault. It's all my fault... I don't even deserve to talk to anyone. What's wrong with me? How did this happen? I just want to go back to the way things were before. This isn't fair. Is it...?
Maybe it would be better if I just went away.
