I have lost him. I have lost them both. I did not see this coming. I never would have thought that he, of all people, would betray me so.
Davick. He gained my trust so long ago. He meant so much to me. I would have done almost anything for him. I did exactly that time and again, and he does this. Is it some kind of jealousy?
I loved him. He knows that. For all that time, he told me to forget about him, to find someone else and yet made a point of warning all other men away from me. He continued to insist and now accuses me of betraying him because if my relationship with Drevorin. The pieces fit, but they make no sense. He has Marinette, he had my trust, my loyalty, my friendship. What is there to be jealous of?
So many times he has told me that I did not deserve the life I led before Bearn found me, that I do not deserve the pain I suffer and yet he has hurt me more than anyone. Can he just not stand to see me happy?
Drevorin. Oh, Drevorin, my love, what have they done to you? What have they made of you? Jaerl and Aien and Davick.
I cannot stand to watch him become what he was, the very man who I once worked against. I cannot bear to see him become that monster again. They have forced this upon us, those men, but why? What do any of them gain in doing so? What pleasure can there be in destroying another persons life? We were so happy.
He was learning, he was growing, he was becoming someone new, someone better. Yes, he retained some of his old violence and that I could accept, but he had not murdered anyone in cold blood since his miraculous survival and his inner pain was gone. Now he hurts again and he seeks vengeance for what they did. Only a step away from the plans, manipulations, lies and schemes. Will he take that step? He has asked me for a few days that he might think it all over, a few days for him to come to a conclusion before I make my own decision.
My decision is made, though. I am preparing for it, preparing for what is to come. I will give him some time but I cannot wait forever.
