The pretty thing of Zandy is growing so beautiful as her mother, I still remember how tired i was when she was born but I looked at the baby and I thought I wanted to become a mother. I envy Zandrianna for that, her sweetness, her beauty and I have to admit for a time I was jealous of the attention that Anadryt gave to her, I never could blame him for that, cause I was the first one who thought she was lovely. For that time, I thought I just lost him but I still had no right to intrude and I did what I should, staying apart.
The other night... watching him taking the Zandy´s baby in his arms... so handsome... with that hat.. with that clothes that seemed done only for him, looking lovingly that pretty and little thing, I thought again I wanted to be a good wife and give a son to him... someone to keep his lineage.
I was so surprised when he told me about his son Gohen... I never had thought about it since he said he thinks about it every day, and that sentence made me start dreaming with the possibility... but now I don't know why... I think he is not ready for that... and inside my heart It hurts and scares me more than Rohan´s war.
I feel so bad every day taking the herbs even if that was my idea, it´s like if I am betraying myself a little bit, but I know that this is what I should do... As always... my feelings don´t care, I have to accept my duty, I can´t be a mother now and maybe I will never be.
