Journal 372nd entry: Questions

Dear Mother and Father, Rua says today is the anniversary of the twentyfifth year that he found me. Rua had Pelippa bake me a cake to celebrate. It was a very quiet affair as he knows I get upset if I dwell too much on my unknown origins, though I try to stay cheerful for Rua's sake. I must be about twentyseven or so now. I hope one day I will find out my real age. I must admit it is fun sometimes to be mysterious. Even if it is forced mysteriousness. Mostly it is annoying when someone asks me and I cannot answer with any accuracy. Also my surname is a source of insecurity to me. When I am asked my name, I answer, 'Zara'. Sometimes it is left at that, which is usually a relief to me. But sometimes they ask my surname and I have to tell them I don't know it. The looks on their faces range from disbelief to pity to contempt. It does seem to be a conversation stopper, the silences that have followed my statement have been very awkward at times. Rua has deliberately not given me his surname. He says I am not a dwarf and though he behaves like a father to me, he is not and has always hoped to find my true parents and family. But I must say I am slowly giving up hope. No one I speak to knows anything. Perhaps it has been too long now. Or I am not asking the right questions. Or the right people. I don't know. It is frustrating to finally get up the courage to speak to someone and get a possible lead only to have my hopes dashed when I follow up. So far I have been sent all over the North Farthing, from Needlehole to Brockenborings and Scary and even up to Oatbarton. I do not feel complete in myself and I don't feel that I will until I have found my family or discovered what happened to them. I will stop here as I feel too heavyhearted to carry on writing at this time. Your despondent Zara