words in the dark

They are still arguing! I could bear it no longer, even with my hands over my ears ... I had to come away. From here I can still catch occasional words, vehement declarations, sudden exclamations. How can they do this? We were close, so very close to reaching an accord! Randir seemed almost agreed on coming east .. and now... now they have both ruined it. Araenion's return should have been a joy, Ranir coming east should have been an ease to my heart .. but now... now... I could cheerfully cast both of them into Midgewater's stinking mud. Is this how Men are? To throw away what is right, trample it in the dirt, just for their pride, their differences and their suspicions? And these two represent the best of Men - yet though they both argue from high purposes, argue they do, and the plans of Men suffer for it. What hope is there in Men if this is how they act? I believed in them, in them both, and in their peoples. Randir speaks as if he were the only one to know what the words duty and burden mean. Araenion speaks as though only heart and vision matter. Would that I could lay aside my knowledge of them; duty, burden, vision and heart! Ai, tonight I would cast them all into Midgewater's unknowable gloom. I would be free, of all four and of their round ears, round eyes, sweat and shouting. Would that I had never met Vallandur.