Starting Over

Once, a man asked me if I used my weapons for hunting or for another purpose. I told him that they were for hunting, bounties and animals alike. At the time, it was a lie. At the time, I was nothing more than a woman standing alone and unemployed in a tavern. I told him what I did—I lied—because I know that men only respect people with one thing: strength. And I was afraid. Not of him. Of everyone and of nothing, of shadows and of light, of dreaming and of waking. I was afraid for a long time. But now…now I’m wondering if, perhaps, there was something in that lie. 
I’ve been trapped for what feels like an eternity, and I’m finally coming free. Like a fog is lifting and I’m seeing clearly for the first time. My husband may have gone to join the rest of the people that I called my friends. For all I know, he may be dead. But I have a daughter. I’ve taken care of her like a robot; I know it looking back. She needs me. There are people who need me. And for a long time, I would have traded them all in for revenge. Not anymore. 
I’ve realized now that I may never get the vengeance or even the justice that I wanted for so long, that I might even deserve. I may never find the man who drugged me when I was fifteen. I may never get the chance to see Archet rebuilt or the Blackwolds destroyed. I may never get the chance to kill Harlyn or the rest of Indignation for what they did. I won’t forget what’s happened, and I won’t forgive any of them. But maybe it’s time I accept that the past has happened and I can’t live my life there. 
Maybe I had the right of it, working as a House guard. Maybe I was just guarding the wrong person. I’ve always been a protector. Now I have the chance to choose who I protect. Knowing Bree, there are plenty of people who need a guardian. And I know just where to start.
It’s time I woke up. It’s time I start over.